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Desc:Man submits the last tree in the Universe to police in exchange for serving a jail sentence.
Category:Crime, Cartoons & Animation
Tags:meth, drugs, :(
Submitted:James Woods
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Comment count is 35
Caminante Nocturno
Last Tree in the Universe sounds like the name of a crappy animated movie. It would be a shameless Ferngully ripoff.
I can already see it. Some greedy person or corporation really wants the last tree so that he can have the ultimate in luxery furniture or something. Or maybe he wants to have wood chips to smoke a rack of ribs, or something even pettier.

Meanwhile, protagonist group (with at least one talking animal or fantasy creature, probably the last of it's kind) needs to keep the tree because they'll die without it, and throw in some subplot about how it can be used to bring nature back to the universe or something.

Throw in some Happy-Feet-esque power guilting, and you've got the perfect kid's movie.

Daddy Warcrimes
Not animated, but I immediately thought of this:

Sounds more like a Prog Rock concept album to me.

He was doing donuts in front of the county jail in a truck full of meth? OK city cops would seem to be really surprisingly mellow.
They let a man walk the streets after he offered them "the last tree in the universe" as payment.


Since when has a delight in botany been illegal?

BIlly Mays Here
What can we say, white privilege is awesome.

Or a delight in chemistry?

0:41 - "Chunked it into a window"

Did she mean 'chucked' or is 'chunked' some Okie slang?
It's an Okie thing. I've heard "up-chunk" from a Texan, so I'm thinking it's regional dialect.

I've heard it in North Carolina as well. The same people who would "mash" a button instead of pressing it. It's an Inland Southeast dialect thing.

"Chunkin' Punkins"

I think it's a rural redneck thing.

James Woods
Hey man, leave Shelly alone. She's adorable.

I like that last line. What a sweetie.
Oklahoma is good people

Yeah, it's good to be reassured like that, I was worried for a moment that he was on to something. Good thing she cleared it all up for us at the end.

Someone says, "hooowah" right then. It's weird.

When I first read the description I thought it was an alternate ending to "Silent Running"...
La Loco
I was guessing this would be from the Onion.
Well, thank god it wasn't ACTUALLY the last tree in the universe!
How do we know it wasn't sent back in time from the end of the universe?

Erratic behavior in Oklahoma? meth? You don't say.
It's more likely than you think!

La Loco
i can has meth?

La Loco
No, really. I need meth to keep posting.

La Loco
The above comment was posted by someone with the same screen name as me. I don't do meth.

La Loco
Sure we don't. Meth fueled lolcat posting sprees are all we have to keep us going. Mmmmm, meth.

Robin Kestrel
Did anyone mention "Silent Running" yet? Because goddamn I love that flick.

This immediately made me think of Cool Runnings.
This eventually made me think of Jim Cummings

James Woods
I immediately thought of Jim Carrey.

I watched Silent Running because of the comments here, I can't believe I'd never seen it before, it was crazy.

My section of the redneck empire doesn't have the word "chunked."
With the right touch of symbolism, this could be turned into a phenomenal Samuel Beckett play.
This must be some backwater news station not to use the word allegedly for any of the alleged acts. Maybe they just figured this guy couldn't get his shit together for a libel suit even if he wanted to.
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