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Desc:Tim Burton, Johnny Depp, and Danny Elfman all hit rock-bottom at once in one glorious moment
Category:Classic Movies, Horror
Tags:danny elfman, Tim Burton, Johnny Depp, Alice in Wonderland, Fudderwacken
Submitted:BIlly Mays Here
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Comment count is 93
Maggot Brain
I feel like I've just been jizzed on. Also, what the hell with the wink to the audience at :42.
Time Travel Mishap
I think the fat thing was supposed to be winking at the tall skinny white thing. And that it never crossed anybodies mind that him winking right into the camera might seem like intentionally breaking the 4th wall.

Caminante Nocturno
What is this shit?
It's shit.

Burton should had retire after Mars Attack, everything else after that has been pure shit.
While perhaps everything hasn't been "pure shit" this certainly is a meadow muffin of the highest order.

Rape Van Winkle
Randroid's a fag.


It goes from pure shit (Big Fish, Planet of the Apes remake) to just plain boring (Sleepy Hollow) Mars Attack was the last good thing this man did, everything else is just milking the "hey, i make movies with a dark look" gimmick.

When they mentioned the existence of this dance earlier in the film, I thought to myself "Oh no, this is going to be bad." But seriously, I had no idea HOW bad. Like jaw-droppingly.
Holy fucking shit.
did he just quote Mr Burns at the beginning of this
why did you do this
No, you retard, he quoted Jabberwocky. Is the simpsons your only frame of reference for everything you say?

William Burns
Thesnake just can't win fer losin'.

There is not one thing in this snippet that doesn't look totally horrible.
I feel really, really good about not going to see this.
There were so many things wrong with this film, but this really was the cherry on top. Apparently the YouTube masses think this is just the best thing ever, though.
I uh

I was sort of hoping for American McGee's Alice ...

Sweet baby Jesus.
"GODDAMN IT! Who left Danny Elfman near the xylophone again?!?"
Syd Midnight
So someone on PoE News was saying that you can't tell this is a shitty movie unless you watch the whole thing

no thanks
Spastic Avenger
Attempts to adapt Alice's Adventures in Wonderland/Alice Through the Looking Glass should all be buried together in a pit and this should be the tombstone on top of the mass grave.
Isn't it already?

This is the new list-topper for things I hate.
Someone should tell Tim Burton that his "creepy crazy fairy tail" shit is completely played out. I mean, come on, American McGee's Alice...
Holy crap, within the first 5 seconds I knew this was something special.
I'm sick of Burton and I'm sick of "American McGee's Alice..."

Lewis Carroll was a fucked up dude to begin with. Modern douchebags with their "EDGY" take on Alice can suck it.

Ahhh...I feel better.
chaos owl
Crispin Glover could have made a good movie with this premise because he wouldn't be afraid to grab the child molester subtext ball and carry that fucker straight to the endzone.

I was disappointed by Crispin in this. How the hell does that happen? How did Burton screw up a movie with both Fry and Glover in it this badly?

Crispin's got bills to pay too, yo.

I always liked to think he was beyond mortal concerns.

American McGee's Alice wasn't that good either.

I remember Erik saying years ago that attempting to do an 'edgy' Alice in Wonderland was like attempting to do a 'crazy' Crazy Taxi

Is there a reason he was doing this horrible little dance to begin with? Or was I so overwhelmed by the suck contained within this clip that I missed the explanation?
There doesn't appear to be, and if there is a reason its most likely far to stupid to comprehend outside of the cult of Tim Burton aka 14 to 17 yr olds that still think shopping at HotTopic means something.

If I had to guess this dance is the result of Burton always including a scene in his recent films to show how not*stiffled laughter* "dark" he can be sometimes, also hes a hack milking the shit out of his image and what audiences nowadays expect of him.

Last movie he made I liked was Ed Wood, Big Fish was ok I suppose...just kinda tolerable. I really don't get why people enjoy this watered down, quasi goth/dark fantasy predictable bullshit? design in this movie is typical of Burton and fucking sucks. Hell go look up his Jabberwock for this film, holy shit is it lame.


So Burton and Depp - are they actually pedos, or what?
There isn't a single child in the entire movie.

What the fuck are you talking about?

Harold Manchester
They should be forced to register as child molesters regardless for creating this obscenity.


Watching this clip made me go from merely not wanting to see this movie, to wanting to file a restraining order against it.
I suggest that you go with your gut on that one.

I'm so glad this is here, everyone I try to tell about how bad this moment is just doesn't seem to get it.
Needs a white people tag.
chaos owl
This movie does look like shit all right, but I don't see what's so wrong about this particular dance number or why you people keep blubbering on about it.
I challenge anyone to point out one thing that isn't wrong with it.

Did you SEE it? It just feels wrong. 5 stars for evil.

BIlly Mays Here

chaos owl
I am the infallible knife of truth. Be on the wrong end of me and bleed.

everyone I know who's seen this movie has really liked it
I'm sorry.

No they haven't. They're just telling you that so you'll go and see it and suffer the same as them.

Tim Burton, please pick up Michael Bay and James Cameron and just go away, please
I was dragged to this last week. It was at this point in the movie my fiance leaned over and said "I'm sorry... Really. I'll pay you back your five dollars."

God I hate this movie.
She'd have to toss my salad to pay me back for watching this shit

where the hell do you live that it only costs five dollars to see a movie?

In Minnesota at least, AMC only costs $5 Mon-Thurs. All other days are $10 (no matinees). Extra for IMAX and 3D.

Its nice, especially when walking into disasters like this.

In Providence, AMC is $5 on Tuesdays.

Makes me long for the quiet dignity of William Shatner crawling around with a midget on his back.
I really fucking hate Tim Burton. Fuck you Tim Burton.
I can't believe how bad this is. It's like if the Dresden Dolls directed beer commercials.
Except a Dresden Dolls-directed beer commercial wouldn't make you pay to watch it, would have about a 1-in-5 chance of being even slightly entertaining, and, most importantly, would not be more than an hour of wondering if you're going to have to chew an arm off to escape the people you came to watch it with.

Actually, I probably should have rated it a FIVE for the evil, not a TWO

Here, I got your back.

Not even Steven Fry playing a big gay cat can make me see this pile of shit now.
Yeah so after an hour or so of falling asleep through the movie, I woke up around this part.

Fuck this movie so bad.
Not so much evil as just plain lame.
Went to the theater to see it Sunday night in 3-D. The 3-D was nothing to write home about, and the film was pretty average. Not a work of sheer brilliance, nor an all-out crap-fest. Save your money and just wait for the 2-D DVD.

From what I hear, the entire movie is like this. Johnny Depp whores for attention at the expense of both the story and everyone's dignity, and the other characters worship him for it.

Just like basically every Depp film in the last several years, really. Is anyone else sick of him yet?
Yes, yes I am.

He was great as a drag queen with a ginormous pack-mule prison rectum in 'Before Night Falls.'

I think he should have kept going that route.

chaos owl
it's Alice in Wonderland, a bunch of inane nonsense some pedo made up kind of on the spot during his attempts to get into a little girl's panties, there shouldn't be any story or dignity to ruin unless you're making some drastic departures from the source material

If you watch Nightmare on Elm Street, you get to see him dragged into a bed and vomited out as bloody chunks.

It's very therapeutic.

Spastic Avenger
Charles Dodgson wasn't a Paedophile. he was interested in Alice Liddel's older sister, not Alice. this is where the rumour started via people looking at a section of Dodgsons diary that was removed/destroyed/edited by him after a fall-out with the Liddel family.

Even the movie asked, "What is he doing?!??"
People around here have been outraged at how horrible this scene was ever since the film came out and it's just 30 seconds of dancing with stupid background music while the other characters look overly impressed? I was expecting something much more awful than this.
overly impressed....thats the puh-frase i was looking for.

Adham Nu'man
This is particularly awful because it's the final confirmation that both Depp and Burton, who once were, to varying degrees, reasonably cool guys, have become really absolutely lame. Like watching Sting's downward spiral after the Police, we saw the signs, it was coming, but we hoped that somehow, they could and would recover. This is the final confirmation that they can't and won't.

Also, Alice in Wonderland is a pretty difficult thing to fuck up, and they fucked it up, bad. There are so many things wrong in such little time in this clip it's not even funny. From the faux-Michael Jackson theme and dance to the Scooby Doo ending where every one of the "zany" characters stands in a circle for that one final chuckle. "Oh Scoooby!" LOLLERCOASTS!!!!11

and this scene makes me wish i were dead for the duration of it.
I wish you were dead too. :(

The way the actual film score is interrupted for this funk garbage is great. I love how it slowly fades back in after the embarrasing cadence on that bullshit.

It's the musical equivalent of ".....aaaaanyway"
the only person i want to see dancing in an Alice in Wonderland movie is Sammy Davis Jr.
God the CGI is so bad. Didn't CGI used to be way better?
5 big, black, beautiful EVIL stars.

The Tim Burton/Helena Bonham Carter/Johnny Depp menage a trois situation is one of those glorious, transcendent, "bodies dragged for miles in bloody 19 car pile-up", awe-inspiring, stand-up-and-shout-amen OBSCENITIES AGAINST ALL THINGS TASTEFUL AND PURE.

And THIS is the "evil" in Portal of Evil that I love.
I love that Johnny Depp and Helena Bonham Carter reportedly don't watch any of the Tim Burton films they've been in

What I'm saying is, it's about time we started following their lead

I just watched this at the cinema. I thoroughly enjoyed it.

Five stars for people crying over things I enjoy once again!
Mayberry Pancakes
What is this dance supposed to accomplish, and why?
Rum Revenge
Of all the things that could have been in this movie, seeing CGI Johnny Depp swing his limbs around like a puppet is by far the most entertaining and impressive. I mean, what was the next scene - did Pugsley Adams and his twin start FLYING? 'cuz that would've blown my mind.
Thanks for saving me the time and money required to see this movie.

Umm I know this is really late but I just noticed this video:

That isn't a CGI dance. That is a real dude who is a really good dancer. He went viral half a decade ago, the orange shirt dance dude. I think a lot of the hate comes from this looking like bad CGI legs but that shit is real.
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