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Desc:Mr. Seagal puts himself in harmsway because he needs money
Category:General Station
Tags:Police, black people, fatty, steven seagal, marshall arts
Submitted:Scrotum H. Vainglorious
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Comment count is 22
chumbucket - 2010-04-16
if New Orleans thinks putting 4 fat guys in two SUVs and slapping badges on them will deter crime they're in for a bit of a surprise when watching this show
Space Ratcatcher - 2010-04-16
I love this show. Steven Seagal is the best.
baleen - 2010-04-16

He's a guilty pleasure because of his sleezy mysticism and I hope to dear God he didn't rape that lady a bunch.

Dr Dim - 2010-04-16
To be fair, if that's real he's a very good shot. I guess you need to be if you're too fat to run.

Also, the part where he's driving around, using his aikido vision to zoom in on suspicious behaviour is fantastic. I will watch this series if I have to buy it on DVD.
BorrowedSolution - 2010-04-16
If by "suspicious behaviour" you mean the egregious crime of being black at night, then yeah, that's some awesome aikido vision. My personal favourite is when he talks to black people, all of a sudden he's got this awesome ghetto patois. "Where da mama at??? Where mama???"

Randroid - 2010-04-16
- In Asia, we
- This bottle of alcohol, in Asia
- Imma a Buddhist and
- drives around in what amounts to a modern day Mini Cooper*
* is fat

Dr Dim - 2010-04-17
"If by "suspicious behaviour" you mean the egregious crime of being black at night"

Is there any other kind? Are you seriously second guessing the instincts of a 7th degree black belt who has trained in the Orient?

wtf japan - 2010-04-16
Seagal isn't Cajun, yet he has a thick creole accent. Either he's mirroring big time, or he still thinks he's on set somewhere.
TSR - 2010-04-16
After running four steps after the pursuit he is inexplicably breathless!
pineapplejuicer - 2010-04-16
Words cannot express how fucking wonderful this show is and how upset I was when it was essentially cancelled yesterday. It's Steven seagal hassling minorities, but the minorities fear and respect him because of his movie persona.

He also assumes the accent of whatever group of people he's around, black, Cajun, or Asian. There was one incident where a toddler had been hit by a car and he turned around and angrily questioned a crowd of onlookers with (I quote) "WHO BABY DAT?!"
Rodents of Unusual Size - 2010-04-16
You don't spit into the wind.

You don't pull the mask off the Lone Ranger's face.

You don't point out Steven Seagal is an honorary Asian black man.

mashedtater - 2010-04-16
nice bit of jim croce there!

Riskbreaker - 2010-04-16
This is the best idea for tv in years.
sosage - 2010-04-16
I've never seen so many overweight, old men in uniforms in one show in my life.

Don't want a desk job?!? What? Not enough sitting involved?
Frank Rizzo - 2010-04-16
annoying camera work? Check!
fermun - 2010-04-16
"Go right! Go right!"
"Steven, let me drive."

I think that Steven Seagal is always doing that.
boner - 2010-04-16
I thought crime fighting in New Orleans would be more of a Mad Max-type situation.
Hay Belly - 2010-04-16
I thought it said "hamsway" and that made me giggle so 5 for that.
memedumpster - 2010-04-16
After much discussion among friends, it was decided that the best way to encounter Steven Seagal as a cop would be as a criminal. Other cops have to work with him daily and the TV people have to make him interesting. Criminals only have to deal with him for a short time.
Enjoy - 2010-04-16
These donuts don't have holes in them! Steven shoot holes in them.
raeshaldis - 2010-04-17
I am proud to say my boyfriend and I both won signed Steven Seagal Lawman posters in an "Ultimate Fan Contest". I think we're going to fashion them into some kind of shrine with some Tibetan prayer flags, our dozen or so Seagal movies and some of our empty cans of Steven Seagal's Lightening Bolt - Asian Experience Flavor. It's appropriate considering he's an incarnate lama.
Billy the Poet - 2011-02-22
Alright motherfuckers, listen each and every one of you.

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