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Desc:Jesus's titles aren't just nicknames his mommy gave him when she was sewing a tunic for temple time.
Category:Religious, Horror
Tags:Jesus, rant, shut up, punchable, cameraman from NYPD Blue
Submitted:lucienpsinger
Date:04/26/10
Views:1211
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Comment count is 27
StanleyPain
jesus is a pretty cool guy he does miracles and is the song of god and doesn't afraid of anything
Merzbau
He could've played guitar better than Hendrix.
He could've told the future.
He could've baked the most delicious cake in the world.
He could've scored more goals than Wayne Gretzky.
He could've danced better than Barishnikov.
Jesus could have been funnier than any comedian you can think of.
Jesus was way cool.

splatterbabble
No wonder there are so many Christians

Rovin
ZOOM IN NOW OUT NOW IN NOW BOBBLE THE CAMERA ZOOM IN ZOOM OUT WOBBLE
phalsebob
I voted this up in the hopper because I'm glad to see the cameraman with Parkinson's from 90's cop shows back in work.

Scrotum H. Vainglorious
Looks like he went on to film action scenes in Bay/Bruckheimer flicks.

lucienpsinger
I'm confident we can make "cameraman from NYPD Blue" an active tag.

HarrietTubmanPI
What's sad is something like this would be forwarded to me by email the second my grandparents found it. Thankfully they don't have the internet.

I also can imagine that this guy thought he had an ace in the hole with his monologue - yet is so full of faith and religion that he cannot see the glaring holes in his argument.

THAT'LL TEACH 'EM!
Xenocide
Hey everybody you know something this guy kind of sounds like someone took all the periods and commas and question marks out of a paragraph and he didn't even notice because he's so fucking tweaked right now I mean high on life and by life I mean JESUS who is like the central character in Lord of the Rings he's like five Supermans and also Batgirl no wait not Batgirl because Jesus ain't no sissy no sir he's the most famous guy ever and you'd better get on board the Jesus train because it's leaving the station and your soul is already on board and it's destination Al Gore's house or something did I also mention that Jesus wasn't just a good man or wise teacher hell no because good men and wise teachers are fucking gay nope Jesus was a crazy kung-fu rock star who bitchslapped the moon and if you think you're not going to hell right this very second then you sir are sorely oh god what the crap I can't feel anything in the right side of my body what
HarrietTubmanPI
Yahtzee is the only person who can persuasively pull this off in any video.

baumer
kind of sad how it almost comes apart around 2:45-3:00

man it will all be cool if you will just stop being afraid of gettin tortured by a goblin after you die i promise :(
Xero
What am I gonna do with Jesus?
Do me a favor and forward this question to Jesus.

What'cha gonna do brother, when Hulkamania runs wild on you!?!
Xenocide
WHAT DO YOU DO WITH A HOLY SAVIOR

WHAT DO YOU DO WITH A HOLY SAVIOR

WHAT DO YOU DO WITH A HOLY SAVIOR

EARLY EASTER MORNING

TOMB'S OPEN AND UP HE RISES

TOMB'S OPEN AND UP HE RISES

TOMB'S OPEN AND UP HE RISES

EARLY EASTER MORNING

charmlessman
"I think of all the things he said and it's LUDICROUS! Unless it's true."




It's not.
dek863
Cameraman fail?
Camonk
What kind of question is that? That's one of the dumbest fucking questions I've ever heard. And I teach college freshmen.

This is the fakest fast-talking outrage I've ever heard.
pastorofmuppets
Jesus is cool but he's no Charlie Sheen.
dead_cat
I misread that as "Jesus's titties" the first time around.
kingofthenothing
Me too.

I think the real questions that should be asked is how are we going to recycle all those Bibles.

APE_GOD
Fat.
Lazer Chachi
The video posters comment on his video (presumably a reply)

There is more evidence for the life and miracles of Jesus than there is that George Washington was our first president. Do you disbelieve George Washington is our first president?

I am disappoint.
boggy84
I've heard that one quite a few times. Like... has anyone ever produced anything to kind-of sort-of substantiate that claim? I mean, it's obviously bullshit because there's kind of a lot of evidence that George Washington was the first (proper) President! And the evidence for the Jesus of the Bible has seemed, I don't know, a little scattershod at best? I think someone read that in a Chick Tract or something like it this one time and it's been transmitted by Christian Apologetics like a game of Telephone.

APE_GOD
The camera man aping the spontaneous handheld feel of sports photography and documentary journalism, with all the sloppy pop zooms and pans and totally missing the mark at making this seem spontaneous and kinetic is a PERFECT garnish to his flaccid rant that comes off as rehearsed and forced.

This video is a FANTASTIC example of Christianists' obsession with the aesthetics of popular media and complete ineptitude at emulating it.
pastorofmuppets
this. it's like with conservatives trying to be funny, they just look like they're wearing a funny person's skin.

John Holmes Motherfucker
I don't agree. i think he's done a great job at creating a fresh take on the age-old revival preacher's rap. There are only so many ways of saying something, so many ways of using the camera. You're not the audience he's trying to impress.

memedumpster
He's like a gay Rush Limbaugh.
elm axo
'I ain't got time' where do you have to go?
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