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Desc:Wild Wild West + Ghost Rider = CRAP
Category:Classic Movies, Trailers
Tags:dc comics, ben kingsley, josh brolin, Megan Fox, Jonah Hex
Submitted:WHO WANTS DESSERT
Date:05/01/10
Views:1200
Rating:
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Comment count is 31
Dr Dim
John Malkovich being broke = awesome action movie villains
Toenails
Phillip Broyles + Q = A perfect fit

K. Brass
Jonah Hex isn't a necromancer. He's just a bad ass cowboy.
Xenocide
I'd been wondering how they were going to screw this up. It's such a great, simple concept in its original form, you just knew some douchebag exec was going to come along and poop on it.

The best part is how at no point in the trailer do his new superpowers appear to serve any useful purpose.

Corman's Inferno
I'm not going to rate this.

Why, why, whyyyyyy did they not have Joe R. Lansdale script this? Besides introducing Hex into a slew of Bruce Timm cartoons, he wrote a handful of Vertigo miniseries where Hex fights grotesque horrors, Lovercraftian and otherwise. He got sued by Edgar and Johnny Winter for the second one because he portrayed them as retarded, flesh-eating wormmen.

Fuck it, 5 stars for reminding me of Joe R. Lansdale.

Corman's Inferno
Lovecraftian, even

Bort
A bad ass-cowboy?

Xenocide
I like how every one-liner in this movie seems to basically boil down this way:

Bad guy: Gawrsh, y'all shore is uglah!

(Hex shoots him)

Hex: Now it is you who is ugly. And dead.
Wander
Hey, they also have

Megan Fox: I am hot.
Other dude: Are you really hot?
Megan Fox: Yes I am really hot.

Toenails
Megan Fox: They took all my weapons.
Johna Hex: Even the one in your vagina?
Megan Fox: ESPECIALLY the one in my vagina!!

Chizmurder
These are for Toenails. That got me good.

snothouse
I guess they decided "Native American puts hot tomahawk on cowboys face" wasn't going to fly as a backstory.
memedumpster
Gatling Horse! If he never got off the horse and never spoke, I might watch this movie.
Senator_Unger
5 stars for 1:44 and 1:44 alone.
Camonk
From Lt. Daniels to guy with an anachronistic gun store.
Longshot-
Gatling guns on a horse? A rotating cannon turret on an Ironclad. Mini hand held crossbows that shoot sticks of dynamite!
Hot damn and a super-powered cowboy!

Must see movie of the summer!

lol

stars for the Gatling horse.
WHO WANTS DESSERT
The icing on the shit cake is that according to the official synopsis the villain is a "dangerous terrorist"
Charles
where is Ben Kingsley in this?
memedumpster
Ben Kingsley plays Gatling Horse.

Cheese
Gob.
oddeye
No.
CornOnTheCabre
Neveldine/Taylor were muscled out of Jonah Hex.

And now this exists.

Let that be a lesson, World.
Orochi
Not going to rate this, because the fact that they've taken a great character with a simple concept and completely fucked it up is evil, but I just can't give it stars.

That being said, this is a bit like what happened to Hex after he died in the comics, when they stuffed his corpse, out it in a singing cowboy costume, and put it in a Wild West Museum.
Orochi
Put in a singing cowboy outfit. Damn typo.

Camonk
You care WAY too much. Just way too much. Stop caring so much!

Orochi
About the typo, or Jonah Hex?

Gojira1000
Well that's just ... damn. I need to go cry now.
TimidAres
If i had a hole in my mouth like that, i would be wanting to stick my tounge through it all the time.
StanleyPain
I'm not really all that familiar with Jonah Hex. Can someone explain how they're fucking this up?
Rodents of Unusual Size
Well the comic is kind of cool and this is basically Wild Wild West II: More Boobs Edition and was written by a script computer program called Scriputer. Who lives on the moon and laughs at us every day.

Bort
The way I hear tell, morally-ambiguous gunfighters are an established genre with an awful lot of really good movies already, so right out of the gate, this movie is superfluous. But then they go the extra step of not making use of the known successful techniques of the genre.

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