heyitslozeau 
alternative solution:
sprinkle with sawdust then call a custodian to sweep it up.
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Jeriko-1 How is THAT gonna keep grease and oil out of the ocean?!
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Scynne Balsamic vinegar + oil.
Dip bread in it.
om nom nom.
You should really try it. It's super good. It is, however, customary to use olive oil rather than crude.
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heyitslozeau I do believe Jeriko was calling the great Italian people greasy.
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Camonk These dumb fucking hayseeds don't even know that the natural enemy of oil is what now? WATER! Let's just pour a bunch of WATER on the oil! The oil floats on top of the water. POW!
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phalsebob
They could banjo the oil all up if they were cunning. Maybe like this-
Big foot up, little foot down,
Grab your own and swing 'em round.
Bow to you partner and the corner miss,
To the opposite lady just blow a kiss.
Bow to your partner, corner salute
Circle left, go lickety-scoot.
Hey all y'all oil spilled in the Gulf,
Spin yerself around and jump in a trough.
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Robin Kestrel
Let's put millions of little sails on top the oil, and hope the wind takes it away.
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memedumpster
We need lots of scoopable kitty litter, stat!
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boner
What if you just poured more oil on it, at some point they will cancel each other out.
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Camonk
Well, it's no "A BIG BARGE" but it's just crazy enough to work!
PS: Bermooda grass
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knowless
do they need a powerpoint slideshow to show you that their process works? it works. residual toxins aside, the hay removes the oil. maybe they should spend a few years of peer reviewed lab work to figure why the hay is so absorbent?.. why are they seen as so ignorant?
bp will never care or finance or help those that do the cleanup, so get it fucking done.
exxon valdez.
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fluffy The hay does in fact work to soak up the oil. Even ignoring the logistics of getting that much hay there, though, when you're done you have a bunch of oil-soaked hay to deal with.
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Urburos
They're making giant loofah buoys out of human hair to soak up oil spills now.
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