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Desc:Andy being Andy
Category:Short Films, Arts
Tags:Old People, 60 Minutes, white people, Andy Rooney, Lady Gaga
Submitted:pineapplejuicer
Date:05/12/10
Views:1603
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Comment count is 37
Senator_Unger
I couldn't imagine having a more frustrating grandfather for some poor kid.

"Yes, grandpa, you DO have a lot of watches. Can we go now?"
mashedtater
when i was little, my dad liked to build models of airplanes so i would go with him to a model club. imagine not one, but at least 20 andy rooneys surrounding you, badgering you about your music, constantly focusing on mainstream aspects of your society and demanding explanations (to this day my father still points out people on the street and asks," what is that? is that goth?") and then they would go on to list the technical stats of b-52s, which is is what hell must sound like when you are 8 and a girl.

so to that child who hates having andy rooney as a grandfather, i say: what does not kill you makes you stronger.

fatatty
He's America's grandpa. Despite McCain's best attempts to snatch the title from him.

duck&cover
Who are you? Where am I? What's going on? Where are my pills?
Mad Struggle
Alzheimer's add before the video.

Potrod
I can't say I feel any shame whatsoever in not knowing who Justin Bieber was until like 2 weeks ago. Not sure how you can live in this country with some sort of functioning sensory apparatus without having heard of Lady Gaga by now, though.
Doctor Arcane
The first I heard of Justin Bieber was on PoeTV. Usher and Lady Gaga, of course.

glasseye
Lady Gaga's the only one of those folks I've heard of, and it was via PoETV.

But I don't watch non-PoETV, so there you go.

mashedtater
since i sub teach, i learn about all these "talented" celebrities via osmosis.

mashuren
"Who are Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga and Usher? It's all a mystery to Andy Rooney!"

Wow, they're even mocking him on the official 60 minutes website.
mashedtater
Of course they are.

CharlesSmith
I AM CLEARLY THE PARAGON OF NORMALITY, SITTING HERE IN MY OFFICE AT TENDER AGE OF SEVEN EONS COMMENTING ON THINGS I FIND IN MY POCKETS! ALL CULTURE IS INTENDED FOR ME SO IF I DON'T LIKE IT IT'S WRONG! WHY IS IT THAT THERE ARE SINGERS FROM DECADES PAST THE 70s?! THAT'S THE MUSIC I REMEMBER HAVING HEARD OF! I MEAN WE'VE ALREADY ACCEPTED THE PREMISE THAT I AM NORMAL AND ONLY THINGS I LIKE ARE NORMAL, SO WHY IS MUSIC SO ABNORMAL?
citrusmirakel
"I'm a regular guy" might be my favorite Rooney shtick of all time.

He'll constantly refer back to his time in the army and the couple months he worked in a factory as evidence of his blue collar, overlooking the sixty or so years he's earned a very healthy living by sitting at a desk and complaining about things

CharlesSmith
It would be hard, bordering on impossible, to choose a favorite Andy Rooney shtick. He's like every useless old man who ever lived, collapsed into a singularity. Trying to isolate a single facet of him for particular greatness is a fools errand. He is perfect, an enormous shining entity of pure light, sent down to us unworthy humans to remind us of the absurdity of our own existence.

If I had to choose one person to represent humanity to the universe at large, and I somehow wasn't biased in our favor, I would pick Andy Rooney. You show a technologically advanced species a few 60 minutes clips and they pretty much know all they need to know about humans.

Camonk
CharlesSmith is the number one philosopher of Andy Rooney.

Rodents of Unusual Size
And what's the deal with this "sliced bread" I keep hearing everyone talking about. Confangled young people and their FAAAAANCY new lunch foods!

In my day, we got to eat bread twice a year, the rest of the time it was turnips and we were glad to have them!

Who the hell are all these people I keep hearing about? Who are President Clinton and Stephen Hawking and why should I be expected to know who Stephen Spielberg is? I want some soup!
Oktay
The important thing is, I had an onion tied to my belt (which was the style at the time).

Riskbreaker
Pennies had bees carved on them.

mashedtater
We called them bees.

pineapplejuicer
gimme five bees for a quarter you'd say!

cognitivedissonance
Trust it to Andy Rooney to bring up the flash-in-the-pan pop star several weeks AFTER her star has faded.
memedumpster
Fuckin' time, how does it work!?

Aelric
It's measured in weeks now?

Rodents of Unusual Size
Don't talk about Justin Bieber that way.

pastorofmuppets
Lada Gaga is in that weird 2 year twilight where writers of advertisements and sitcoms use the name because it's funny and everyone's supposed to know it by now.

BHWW
Andy Rooney is like the old geezer who has nothing better to do than send in several letters to the editor of his local paper every week, ranting about these kids today or some other thing, to the point where as soon as his name is seen envelopes they're sent straight to the trash.

Only this time someone gave him a venue to speak his mind on national televison.
MrBuddy
No mention in the comments about Ella Fitzgerald? Even worse Lina Horne died today and I doubt anyone here remembers her. Aw well, I had to play a video clip for my wife before she'd heard of Lady Gaga or Bad Romance.
Aelric
I know Ella and Lina. And prefer them both to Gaga, but then again, at the ripe old age of 29, I'm getting up there in years.

WHO WANTS DESSERT
It's like how Billie Holiday died penniless and unappreciated but whenever people talk about how great popular old music was she always pops up.

Camonk
My favorite comment: "I agree with you Andy....I am a 41 year old man; I have been exposed to all types of music from a young age. I find myself going back in time to find quality music. Lady Gaga, Usher, Bieber...it is all just a poor example of music. When in interviewer asked Van Morrison if there was anyone he liked in the upcoming musicians....he said "No; no one. It's all be done". A large percentage of what is produced today...garbage. You have to go outside mainstream music to find real talent."

I don't know how long that video was, but it managed to give me an Andy Rooney headache, anyhow. I fucking hate that useless old faggot.
Xenocide
I consider myself to be pretty average. Most people make their living by sitting at a desk and babbling old-man nonsense for two minutes a week, right? I guess in the poorer parts of the country you might have to talk for five minutes to make ends meet. That must be rough.
What about the Danger
Fucking hipster.
charmlessman
How come the divide doesn't extend to things like people enjoying a warm breeze and ice cream? Because, you dried up shitflake, no one has invented a new breeze, and there aren't new ice creams being born every day.
Caminante Nocturno
Do you remember when you met with your grandfather before he died? Do you remember how, without saying anything, you both knew it was the last time you were ever going to see each other? Do you remember that mutual feeling of deep sadness you both felt as you hugged and said goodbye for what you both knew would be the last time?

That's what I feel every time I watch Andy Rooney.
La Loco
Someone, please, do the Andy Rooney game on this clip.
kwash
It may be what everyone thinks of themselves as, but I consider myself to be an absolutely dead-center, average, normal American.

Maybe we should call it even.


Also, "Sponsored By Viagra."

FABIO
I don't either.

Where's MY show?
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