I couldn't imagine having a more frustrating grandfather for some poor kid.
"Yes, grandpa, you DO have a lot of watches. Can we go now?"
when i was little, my dad liked to build models of airplanes so i would go with him to a model club. imagine not one, but at least 20 andy rooneys surrounding you, badgering you about your music, constantly focusing on mainstream aspects of your society and demanding explanations (to this day my father still points out people on the street and asks," what is that? is that goth?") and then they would go on to list the technical stats of b-52s, which is is what hell must sound like when you are 8 and a girl.
so to that child who hates having andy rooney as a grandfather, i say: what does not kill you makes you stronger.
Who are you? Where am I? What's going on? Where are my pills?
I can't say I feel any shame whatsoever in not knowing who Justin Bieber was until like 2 weeks ago. Not sure how you can live in this country with some sort of functioning sensory apparatus without having heard of Lady Gaga by now, though.
since i sub teach, i learn about all these "talented" celebrities via osmosis.
"Who are Justin Bieber, Lady Gaga and Usher? It's all a mystery to Andy Rooney!"
Wow, they're even mocking him on the official 60 minutes website.
I AM CLEARLY THE PARAGON OF NORMALITY, SITTING HERE IN MY OFFICE AT TENDER AGE OF SEVEN EONS COMMENTING ON THINGS I FIND IN MY POCKETS! ALL CULTURE IS INTENDED FOR ME SO IF I DON'T LIKE IT IT'S WRONG! WHY IS IT THAT THERE ARE SINGERS FROM DECADES PAST THE 70s?! THAT'S THE MUSIC I REMEMBER HAVING HEARD OF! I MEAN WE'VE ALREADY ACCEPTED THE PREMISE THAT I AM NORMAL AND ONLY THINGS I LIKE ARE NORMAL, SO WHY IS MUSIC SO ABNORMAL?
It would be hard, bordering on impossible, to choose a favorite Andy Rooney shtick. He's like every useless old man who ever lived, collapsed into a singularity. Trying to isolate a single facet of him for particular greatness is a fools errand. He is perfect, an enormous shining entity of pure light, sent down to us unworthy humans to remind us of the absurdity of our own existence.
If I had to choose one person to represent humanity to the universe at large, and I somehow wasn't biased in our favor, I would pick Andy Rooney. You show a technologically advanced species a few 60 minutes clips and they pretty much know all they need to know about humans.
CharlesSmith is the number one philosopher of Andy Rooney.
|Rodents of Unusual Size |
And what's the deal with this "sliced bread" I keep hearing everyone talking about. Confangled young people and their FAAAAANCY new lunch foods!
In my day, we got to eat bread twice a year, the rest of the time it was turnips and we were glad to have them!
Who the hell are all these people I keep hearing about? Who are President Clinton and Stephen Hawking and why should I be expected to know who Stephen Spielberg is? I want some soup!
Trust it to Andy Rooney to bring up the flash-in-the-pan pop star several weeks AFTER her star has faded.
It's measured in weeks now?
Andy Rooney is like the old geezer who has nothing better to do than send in several letters to the editor of his local paper every week, ranting about these kids today or some other thing, to the point where as soon as his name is seen envelopes they're sent straight to the trash.
Only this time someone gave him a venue to speak his mind on national televison.
No mention in the comments about Ella Fitzgerald? Even worse Lina Horne died today and I doubt anyone here remembers her. Aw well, I had to play a video clip for my wife before she'd heard of Lady Gaga or Bad Romance.
I know Ella and Lina. And prefer them both to Gaga, but then again, at the ripe old age of 29, I'm getting up there in years.
My favorite comment: "I agree with you Andy....I am a 41 year old man; I have been exposed to all types of music from a young age. I find myself going back in time to find quality music. Lady Gaga, Usher, Bieber...it is all just a poor example of music. When in interviewer asked Van Morrison if there was anyone he liked in the upcoming musicians....he said "No; no one. It's all be done". A large percentage of what is produced today...garbage. You have to go outside mainstream music to find real talent."
I don't know how long that video was, but it managed to give me an Andy Rooney headache, anyhow. I fucking hate that useless old faggot.
I consider myself to be pretty average. Most people make their living by sitting at a desk and babbling old-man nonsense for two minutes a week, right? I guess in the poorer parts of the country you might have to talk for five minutes to make ends meet. That must be rough.
|What about the Danger |
How come the divide doesn't extend to things like people enjoying a warm breeze and ice cream? Because, you dried up shitflake, no one has invented a new breeze, and there aren't new ice creams being born every day.
|Caminante Nocturno |
Do you remember when you met with your grandfather before he died? Do you remember how, without saying anything, you both knew it was the last time you were ever going to see each other? Do you remember that mutual feeling of deep sadness you both felt as you hugged and said goodbye for what you both knew would be the last time?
That's what I feel every time I watch Andy Rooney.
|La Loco |
Someone, please, do the Andy Rooney game on this clip.
I don't either.
Where's MY show?
| Register or login To Post a Comment|