I could imagine a very awkward silence after that whole speech.

A friend of mine busted out laughing at the end of that speech.

Alas, no room for a "Gahan Wilson" tag.

My parents got divorced on Christmas because my dad wouldn't come home for Christmas and called up to tell us he was doing cocaine with an Asian stripper who he was cheating on my mom with. (true story) 5 stars for beating my Christmas story.

After Bozo's story, I can't think of anything cheerful to say. Five for the clip?

For some reason, I had always remembered this as a true story and not having seen it in Gremlins. When I finally rewatched it, I was convinced they stole the story from someone I went to school with.

Best Christmas movie.

One Christmas morning I got up extra early and as i was coming downstairs I saw Santa making out with my mom so I shot him. We never talked about dad much after that.

Your dad's death was basically a YouTube video, Kate. Sorry.

AUTO FIVE FOR PHOEBE