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Desc:otherwise known as the MACHETE! trailer
Category:Humor, News & Politics
Tags:alex jones, machete, conspiracy theory, danny trujo
Submitted:Stopheles
Date:05/13/10
Views:1634
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Comment count is 39
IrishWhiskey
Coming up next: The plan rich industrialists have to team up with Obama to use the military industrial complex to enact fascism and mass murder of white male conservatives, also known as Iron Man 2.

kingofthenothing
Man, this is some KILLER advertising. I'm so hoping this movie is real now.
Jellyneck
The"Santa Cruz Riots" he is alluding to really didn't have anything to do with immigration. That was really just a bunch of homeless/anarchist people breaking shit (storefront windows) while the cops were busy elsewhere.

But don't let the facts get in the way of your racial holy war.

http://www.santacruzsentinel.com/localnews/ci_14998618

http://www.fresnobee.com/2010/05/03/1919624/probe-continues-in to-santa-cruz.html

http://www.ktvu.com/news/23432036/detail.html
Zarathustra00
Stick around or at least skip to the end to enjoy Alex Jones narrating parts of the script and swooning as he says Machete. Loses a star because this is the most sedate I've ever seen this man.
memedumpster
If this movie really is about Danny Trejo killing every white person in Arizona, I will see it twelve times in the theater, buy it on DVD, and buy the Special Edition DVD six months later. Hell, blu-ray players are cheap now, this might be the movie that makes me upgrade.

Fuck, I need to start learning Spanish NOW so I can watch it in the true Mother Language.


kingarthur
SPOILERS!

Also, Danny Trejo is Christ. You heard it here first.
Syd Midnight
From his interviews, he seems just as badass in person as on screen.

Riskbreaker
You better hide your fat gringo ass Jones, Machete will cut you and feed you to the dogs of the NWO leader.
Cena_mark
I won't let Machete hurt any gringos. If he can't show me a green card I'll send him back across the boarder with a boot up his ass.

kingofthenothing
I'm sure your rainbow boots are just magical.

MongoMcMichael
EDDIE GUERRERO RIP VIVA LA RAZA

Cena_mark
Don't pull that shit Mongo. I loved Eddie, and Eddie never crossed the border illegally.

SDAusmus
Eddy was born in Texas.

Jeriko-1
Hah, niggas got trolled hard.

Its beautiful, Mr. Trejo...
Caminante Nocturno
And he brings up Hitler in just under four minutes. I don't know whether to congratulate him on his self-control or criticize him for his slowness.

Also, at 6:22, it sounds like the border crisis he's talking about involves the borders between alternate realities.
Reipuman
so how about those flu shots, Alex? Whatever happened with those?

Reipuman
page reload has betrayed me

Caminante Nocturno
Imagine an alternate universe where it hadn't.

That reality may be merging with this one.

phalsebob
Alex, when La Revolución begins I sure as hell wont be on your side.

Oh shit... as I'm writing this the Birth of a Nation comparison came up I gasped and it gave me hiccups.

You better keep a close eye on your gardiner, Mr. Jones you fat fuck, as he is assuredly keeping a close eye on you.
Cena_mark
What I hate about the whole border issue is that its not even a race issue. Are you here legally or aren't you? Just because most of the illegals are darker skinned than most whites doesn't mean its about race. Its not "they're not white." Its "They're not American."
Yet you liberals make it a race issue, because you are the true racists.
Space Helicopter
Why isn't there any holy hell raised over Canadian illegal immigrants?

phalsebob
Sometime around 2000 my dad was turned back from the border because he had a toolbox out in the back seat. The border guard thought he was some cunning Canuck out nick jobs from Americans.

Also there are really crazy Minutemen (more crazy than usual) who keep a watch on the Canadian border.

Monkey Napoleon
I know this accomplishes nothing, but I might as well give it a go.

It IS a race issue when you pass a law that is a PC wording of "ASK PEOPLE WHO LOOK LIKE BEANERS FOR THEIR PAPERS." Imagine, for a second, your parents are both Mexicans. They naturalized before you were born. You've lived in Arizona all your life. Now, because you're a beaner, you've got to be able to PROVE your citizenship or be deported.

How many white people who can't prove their citizenship do you think will be deported to mexico? Can you PROVE your citizenship? Can anyone in your family PROVE their citizenship? The answer, of course, is that it doesn't matter.

Look, I'm FOR trying to make sure that the people who have access to our infrastructure pay into society the same as everyone else... but this is 2010. We can do way, way, wayyyy better than this racist bullshit where we throw the burden of responsibility onto those who are the least culpable and least able to cope.

Someone hires these people.

IrishWhiskey
Would we react the same to young white kids and old white ladies working 18 hours a day without adequate water or shelter for pennies a day?
Would we react the same to white immigrants who lower the crime rates of areas they move into, by freaking out and accusing them of being the source of epic crime waves?
Would we react the same to whites crossing the border illegally, by sending militias down there and praising farmers who shot innocent unarmed people who entered their land?

MongoMcMichael
im a kewl small government libertarian so ill let the police stop me because they think i look funny lolz

Cena_mark
Spaced Biplane: Cause Canadians aren't pouring across our border illegally because though their country sucks it isn't fucked like Mexico is.
Human Louis the 16th: Profiling is really the only thing we can do to turn the tide against the illegals. Sorry if I'm looking for illegal immigrants from Mexico I'd have to profile people who look Mexican.
Irish Light beer: If Canada's economy and government collapsed and Canadians start pouring into our border I'm sure the reaction would be the same. Then we'd have to profile the illegals by making people show their papers at hockey games.

MongoMcMichael
CENA_MARXIST WANTS THE GOVERNMENT TO HAVE MORE POWER!

Riskbreaker
U MAD CENA?

Nikon
Man, John Ritter has really let himself go.
tak_a_je_to
I'll say!

But then, he has been dead for quite a few years now.

Rodents of Unusual Size
I absolutely have to pass this along to the Mexican guy who keeps telling me Alex Jones is the man. I think my exact words to him were "I can't take Alex Jones seriously. I just can't watch him without laughing at him. He's the liberal Glenn Beck with lots of CGI fire"

I think he said something like "yeah, but he tells the truth!"

My comments while watching this:

A ha ha ha ha. Oh.

I love how some fat woman with a sign is representative of a race hate movement. Because that woman was totally stable and all Hispanics are totally like her?

Why would they send YOU a script? Really? Did they write another script as like, some kind of joke?

Oh my god! Robert Rodriguez didn't actually write this? This is a covert ops? Oh my god! This is BEAUTIFUL.

This is anti Minutemen? Wait, they are depicted as murderers? Yeah, this like some kind of ALTERNATE WORLD SCIENCE FICTION.

So, the movie ends with him being crucified? Fucking sweet! Thanks, Alex Jones, I'll be totally sure to give my money to this movie now.
phalsebob
Jones is a liberal, wut?

cognitivedissonance
Man, it must be so awesome to have no sense of reality vs. fiction. Suddenly you ARE Luke Skywalker, and you CAN buy those Fred Flintstone ribs and you CAN tap dance your way to freedom!
poetry publishing guide
I can't believe the sheeple still doubt my man Alex, even after everything he's ever warned us about has come to pass.
freedoom
Where are my wife and daughter?
Chizmurder
He gets the women! *WWWWAAAPPPOOSSSHHH* MACHETE!

frau_eva
God, he really is a "moderate" version of Glenn Beck. As soon as I think he could be parodied effectively, he says something so out-of-bounds-batshit paranoid that someone who's taken a brick of pot couldn't even have come up with.
Camonk
Robert Rodriguez is either a dupe or a government operative of unimaginable evil.
boggy84
Great viral advertising, Alex! Now I'm definitely seeing this one. I mean, I already was, but Alex just made it sound way better. I hope this thing takes a billion dollars at the box office.
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