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Desc:Spaceship crashes into heaven? Sexy angel navigates the perils of paradise? Made by real Christians.
Category:Trailers, Video Games
Tags:games, Heaven, christians, wtf america, Sexy Christian Angels
Submitted:Aelric
Date:06/15/10
Views:1497
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Comment count is 31
Aelric
How many teenage church prisoners of their parents are gonna spank it to that sexy saint? Truly, God's work.

I hope to track this game down without having to directly pay the makers. If anyone has a lead on it, let me know.
Toenails
White People Heaven.
Camonk
Heaven, you mean. No need to qualify it, we all know there's just white people there.

rural
I was thinking that this looked a lot like the foyer at Bellagio. Then it hit me:

Heaven or Las Vegas? Heaven IS Las Vegas!



Also: Aslan!


tmavomodry
why can't Christian game developers find someone with enough artistic skill to not make their characters look like a barely animated Barbie dolls? Subject matter and game play aside, it's creepy to have to look at that thing's dead eyes.
mashedtater
it is the kendra wilkinson model.

phalsebob
Or plunk in the same music that every high school film arts kid ever has used.

FABIO
How about some music other than the most overused trailer song ever?

Jet Bin Fever
Christians just like their boobs Double-D, baby.

Adham Nu'man
This looks awesome.
YakooMarkTwo
Bayonetta had more style for a game about angels.

5 stars for never once saying what the hell (no pun intended!) is going on in this game.
charmlessman
You TOTALLY intended that pun.

Hooper_X
So you have to kill everything in Heaven?
oddeye
I had a "I wouldn't mind navigating her perils of paradise" lined up but then she had to go and look like a cheap living-doll knockoff.

Christmas in heaven just wasn't what I expected.
StanleyPain
So I'm assuming these good Christians actually PAID to use O Fortuna, yes? Because the Carl Orff estate is pretty anal when it comes to getting paid for using that particular piece of music and they hate it when people do shit like this.
Architeuthis Tux
I found myself wondering if the folks who cut this trailer had any idea what the words in the music mean.

Extra amusing points for using the same recording of Ormandy that everyone else in the history of bombastic 'cinema' has used.

Why doesn't anyone ever use Carmina Catulli?

Nagisaki
www.Genesisworks.com

A flashy website, with absolutely nothing on it. It's like a high school project.
RocketBlender
He's right. If you combine all the text from every page, there's 3 sentences.

RocketBlender
If you go to http://www.heaventhegame.com/ they have 'actual gameplay' footage. It's a series of clips, none of which last more than 2 seconds, I think it's a puzzle game along the lines of Myst from what I can tell.

Gameplay clip 2 just shows Sexy Saint walking on water doing unnecessary twirls, and Gameplay clip 3 doesn't actually exist.
Scynne
The part that makes me the happiest about this, is that the developers, while trying to push Christian values, decided to/are COMPLETELY ignorant of the second fucking commandment.

Way to heresy, guys. Way to heresy.
Scynne
decided to *ignore*

joyofdiscord
What does this have to do with the right to bear arms.

notascientist
We bought this game, and played it. It is about 1 hour long. It is almost unbelievable. Heaven is completely empty except for your creepy sexy grandmother. Seriously, that hot chick is your angelfied grandmother.

When you beat the game it quotes some bible at you and then the credits roll. Its insane.
Aelric
So, how does the spaceship factor into things? Or the stone lion? Or the cleavage?

Sudan no1
They had to throw in a Hot Grandma to appeal to the Trailer Park demo.

RocketBlender
Am I right in assuming it's a Myst clone?

notascientist
Basically nothing in the game makes any sense, and its obviously barely completely and cobbled together. You are on the spaceship at first, then I guess it wrecks and you are either dead or rescued by your hot grandma.

memedumpster
Most of those words don't begin with aleph, you dumb assholes.
dead_cat
Wow, I know "O Fortuna" sounds big and powerful and majestic, but damn that's a poor choice of music for a game that's supposed to be taking place in a perfect paradise.
kingofthenothing
Heaven: totally not boring as fuck anymore. Honest.
fulakarp
needs more lens flares
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