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Desc:JESUS PUNCHES
Category:Classic Movies, Accidents & Explosions
Tags:Jesus, wuxia, Legend of the Liquid Sword
Submitted:The Faghorn
Date:06/24/10
Views:2183
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Comment count is 21
fedex
this is the first wuxia ive ever seen with Jesus in it

making silly noises with his lips
oddeye
"Juses punches"
Hooper_X
THIS IS MY NEW RELIGION.
dead_cat
Fuck yeah, this Jesus GETS SHIT DONE! Not like Inexplicably European Asshole Jesus, who never shows up for work, yet takes all the credit for every good thing that happens to his followers.

memedumpster
Jesus is fucking scary.
Squeamish
When Jesus punches you, he doesn't even have to connect.

That's how divine his punches are.
Camonk
All of this, and the big reward is #1 in east Chung Yuan? Shouldn't you guys aim a little higher? Like maybe all of Chung Yuan? Or, like, even just the tri-province area?
Ialdabaoth
The watered-down Jesus Christ Superstar music when he shows up really makes this.
oddeye
Who would actually win in a fight between Jesus Christ and Batman? I know he managed to beat Superman and that's supposed to represent mankinds power over god.
Camonk
See, that's actually a really good question. Batman's triumph over Superman is predicated upon several things, most importantly Superman's personality and Batman's understanding of it. For instance, Superman COULD fly into space and disintegrate Bruce Wayne with eyelasers. But he WOULDN'T. But Batman would totally ambush Superman with Kryptonite.

Jesus's physical weaknesses are less pronounced, and less famous. But he's pretty much guaranteed to turn the other cheek when the actual fighting starts. But Batman's going to have a lot of trouble in the court of public opinion. And, of course, Bruce Wayne being super rich is another handle the gentle carpenter can use.

I think it'd be a pretty fair fight over all, but the fact that he's a ninja and scientist AND a keen observer of human nature means I give the slight edge to Batman.

Jesus, the things I'll go on about to keep from writing a paper.

Lurchi
Come on, Jesus walked right into an EPIC FAIL in the matter of public opinion. Barrabas anyone?

augias
EPIC FAIL EPIC FAIL EPIC FAIL EPIC FAIL EPIC FAIL EPIC FAIL EPIC FAIL EPIC FAIL EPIC FAIL EPIC FAIL EPIC FAIL EPIC FAIL EPIC FAIL EPIC FAIL EPIC FAIL EPIC FAIL EPIC FAIL EPIC FAIL

chumbucket
Jesus opened the whole can on them
wtf japan
The real Jesus defeats his enemies by letting them beat him up until they feel terrible about themselves.
StanleyPain
This movie is the spiritual successor to Eagle Shooting Heroes which is also an awesome, over-the-top parody of the sword-and-sorcery, wuxia genre.
Rodents of Unusual Size
"Pretty much everywhere, there's gonna be punches"

"HEE HEE HEE HEE"

"Thanks, Jesus."
CornOnTheCabre
quick quiz:

"The one who doesn't fall never stands up. It happened that people made me an idol. But everybody loses. I'm just a human being. And if it's God's will next fight, I'll win."

Who said this? Jesus Christ or Fedor Emelianenko?
athodyd
I gotta say in any other situation I would pull hard for Batman but Jesus' laughter is infectious
Wombles
"I'm tired of Chu coming up with all these rediculous characters - the guy is way too into Western pop culture."
Lan Tianhe
how did I miss this
Killer Joe
Chineseus.
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