Somebody very special downloaded a trial version of illustrator!
"But if we add the exclamation point the text won't be centered anymore"
"JUST DO IT"
Oh boy. First of all the only employees listed are this woman (who is apparently a Republican candidate for Kansas governor), her friend a disbarred attorney, and GOD. No really. He's on their Board of Directors.
Second, the only goal of the organization is to discourage lawsuits (which makes sense, as non-attorneys they can't help people with suits anyway), but their methods are nutty.
The First Principle (out of two) is to appoint free counsel for civil suits. This could only wildly proliferate lawsuits, not decrease them.
The Second Principle has to be read to be believed:
"Computerization of evidence would be required before any lawsuits could be filed or any charges brought against a person or entity. Evidence would be presented for evaluation according to the “Farr Factor” - a computer program which is written to calculate the percentage of likelihood that the alleged defendant is guilty of the wrong for which he is accused. The “Farr Factor” is the determinating factor in any legal claim before a lawsuit can be filed or charges brought. It must be divulged to all parties prior to any litigation, and is used to calculate damages."
Included for fun: She only has 11 goals listed on her Governor's website, but her are the first four in order:
+Sign into law only those bills that have 2/3 approval of the people
+Require that a Biblical and Constitutional reason exist for the passage of any new laws
+Allow teaching of Christianity vs. evolution in schools
+Introduce a “No Child Left Alone” Act so that working parents can adjust their start/stop times to take their children to and from school (families first!)
Her three greatest enemies appear to be secularism, civil attorneys, and school buses.
Don't forget that one of her goals is to repeal the War Powers Act "so that Congress and the people must vote on decisions to go to war"
I don't even know where to begin with that one. But apparently the role of Governor of Kansas has some pretty amazing powers behind it.
Can she legally list GOD as a director? What if they incur massive debts or something, does the Big G have to write a cheque?
You guys are a-okay in my book.
At a wild guess, these are all law-school dropouts. You can't legally claim to be a lawyer (or is it attorney at law? I forget) unless you actually pass the bar. But hey, charging people money for bullshit advice? Go for it...
Just another piece of information that you may be wondering about:
That certificate in the background is clearly not any sort of diploma, it's most likely a National Republican Congressional Committee "Businesswoman of the Year" award.
A bit of a funny story about these things. One of the tactics the NRCC uses to raise money is send out thousands of letters to people telling them they got an award for "_______ of the Year", but they need to call a number to claim it.
If you cannot foresee what could possibly happen next, I encourage you to read this news article:
Why, of COURSE there's charges of embezzlement:
"Knowledge is power! Too bad we don't have any and if we did, we'd be legally unqualified to give any of to you because it would probably be bullshit anyhow! But uh... Give us money."
Of all those families that left Kansas in the '30s for places like California, mine had to stay here.
Isn't this service like hiring someone to find you a plumber?
No actually, they usually advise you to stay away from attorneys, because most of them are dishonest. Instead, they try and advise you strategies on staying away from litigation (how they do this, I have no clue).
How a service called Association for Honest Attorneys operates without any attorneys on the payroll and gives advice on how to avoid the court system altogether is completely beyond my ability to comprehend.
I hate to do it again, BUT WHY DO ALL REPUBLICAN WOMEN LOOK ALIKE?!!!
this is something I'd expect to see on Lionel Hutz's business card
That may be one of the worst abbreviated web addresses that I've ever seen.
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