I honestly don't see him topping this one for a long time.
You mean that in a "god, this was awful" way, right?
For somebody criticizing the game for not being very original, his points are not very original either.
+2 stars for
a). The sigh in the middle of the slapping
b). His use of medieval punishment methods sprinkled through the review.
Still coasting though
|MacGyver Style Bomb |
Years ago I was a juror on a child molestation case and one of the key points was if the defendant used the word "cake" the same way shown here. We found the defendant not guilty, by the way.
"No drooling mongloid left behind."
Which raises the obvious idea that all the extra learning aids the game includes are precisely to help adults or children with learning dissabilities who want to have some fun with the toy.
oh man, that "why hasn't bowser been arrested" line is classic
shit, he's so right about how map systems are dumb
TAKE THAT SIMPSONS FUCK YEAH
(I'm giving an extra star because this is the second week in a row that one of the other awful escapist shows are explicitly rubbing their faces in Yahtzee's shit)
He does have a point about The Simpsons though.. It's just a shame that he can't recognise the irony of criticising Simpsons for going on for too long..
I think he recognizes the irony. He prefaces the Simpson's quote by saying, "to bring this metaphor down a broader cultural level," which is probably his detached, forcibly-wordy way of saying, "I can't think of a more clear way to say this." Maybe he wanted a different metaphor, but couldn't think of one.
|Caminante Nocturno |
5 stars for still making babies cry.
I like Yahtzee but this is a really really awful review. "Why do they make this game like it's for children!?" Maybe because it is BEING MADE FOR CHILDREN.
CHILDREN AREN'T ALLOWED TO ENJOY THINGS. EVER.
Fucking nintendo, how do they work?
the ending was a little overwrought, but I liked it!
|Vestigial Johnson |
dud. should've just copy-pasted the review of mario galaxy and dubbed in a "2" where needed
Still not as shitty as his Monster Hunter 3 review where he literally did not get past the Single Player Tutorial before submitting his review.
This reminds me of that time a video game publisher exploited that profitable franchise and some guy for pretended to be annoyed by it for advertising money.
I hate Nintendo fanboys and Yahtzee. So I'll just refrain from rating.
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