::weeping:: its so beau-heu-heu-ti-ful

The ever-present soundtrack is the best part of this movie.

Proof that you can chi chat and not waste time doing it.

STOP TALKING

STOP

STOP IT

Tommy Wiseau is a ruthlessly efficient shopper. In and out in less than 20 seconds!

notimetobreathe,bye

I think he may have promised to put that dog in this film, and that's the only reason this scene exists.

I recently saw him at a screening of The Room, and he is exactly like this in real life.

Also, my friend who was involved in arranging the show had to entertain and mind him for four days. She saw him sniffing glue during that time, which is apparently his drug of choice and explains a LOT about the movie.

Unfrozen caveman actor/director.

Guysthisisagreatvideofivestars!

heee dogg-eeee.

DISPASSIONATE BUSINESS TRANSACTIONS: THE MOVIE

How Much IsHEREYOUGOKEEPTHECHANGE.

hurts my brain

I love this scene so much I cannot even stand it

ART!

This movie! This whole movie is amazing beyond words.

Jesus! I'm amazed this scene wasn't on here yet.

Just the flow of this entire scene is a wonder.

The solution to the question is obvious: Tommy Wiseau is not of this Earth, thus the awkwardness of his attempts at capturing human behavior.

Even if this were a dupe, these would be stars 5-10

Did he just cut in line?

I love the Netflix description of The Room: "Uninhibited by cinematic convention, this quirky cult favorite about lust and duplicity delivers nonstop laughs from beginning to end as the film's central character (writer-director Tommy Wiseau) discovers that his foxy fianc�e, Lisa (Juliette Danielle), is bedding his best friend. Adding to the hilarity are Greg Sestero, who plays the backstabbing buddy, and Carolyn Minnott as Lisa's materialistic mom."

I think the fact that this scene follows a looooooong drawn out sex scene is what blew my mind.

classic movies, indeed.

Did he give her a chain? Because he said she could keep it.

you're my favorite customer.

How did she not know it was Johnny? HE WAS STANDING RIGHT THERE

She talks to him as though he has Down's.

CanIhaveathousandredrosesplease.

OH HI is my favorite repeated line from this film.

I saw this man stage direct a play live in 2011. The whole experience was like being on mushrooms.

wow, why have i not watched this movie yet

this whole scene is my mantra

So I've just finished reading Greg Sestero's "The Disaster Artist" (if you haven't, do so. Better yet, get the audiobook. It's the funniest shit I've listened to in years.)

Anyway, I just wanted to add my two cents to the Wiseau origins debate. One popular theory proposed by u/ohbaimark last year suggests Wiseau could be Polish based on his family records in the US.

As a linguist of Polish extraction myself, I am now 99% sure that theory is correct. Sestero's book provides an enormous amount of Wiseau quotations and hints about his origins that, I believe, make a compelling case for Wiseau being from Poland.

The linguistic evidence:

The constant misuse and non-use of the definite and indefinite articles; confusing the present simple with the present continuous; dropping the auxiliary verb in questions. These are all extremely typical mistakes among Poles speaking English.
Answering the telephone by "I'm listening". That is exactly how most Poles answer the phone. (PL: "Słucham")
Onomatopoeia: "cheep cheep" is exactly how a Pole would beckon or taunt a bird. (PL: "cip cip")
"Leave [your stupid comment] in your pocket": a word-for-word translation of the slightly antiquated Polish expression "zostaw X w kieszeni", meaning "I don't care what you think about X".
Sestero says that the W in "Wiseau" is the first letter of Tommy's original last name. The only languages of the Eastern bloc that use the letter W in native words are German and Polish.

The historical evidence:

Tommy said his country was occupied by Soviet soldiers. In the Eastern bloc, the only countries with a permanent Soviet military presence after the war were Poland, East Germany, Czechoslovakia and Hungary.
Tommy left his country FOR Germany, so he can't be German. He also transited through Berlin - geographically speaking, the only point of origin of a trip to Strasbourg via Berlin that makes sense is Poland. Czechoslovakia would be a stretch. Hungary would be very improbable given how far south it is and that such a trip would require transiting through at least one more country.
Tommy said he used to go to a Catholic cathedral and that his city had been 79% destroyed in the war. None of the Catholic cathedrals in Czechoslovakia were in severely war-damaged cities. Poland, on the other hand, had at least a half-dozen cathedral cities that were basically razed during the war. If the figure of 79% is to be believed, Warsaw, Wrocław, Gdańsk and Poznań seem like the likeliest candidates.

There's also a small piece of cultural evidence: Wiseau's habit of drinking hot water. My Polish grandmother used to do the same. I'm guessing it was originally done a) to sanitize the water, and b) because of tea/coffee shortages during and after the war. For all I know though, this may have been a widespread thing in other countries as well.

So in conclusion, I'm pretty convinced that if Wiseau was indeed born on this planet, it may very well have been in Poland. Not that it matters of course, but it was fun to play detective. :-)

Sauce: https://www.reddit.com/r/theroom/comments/3dc0ns/tommy_wiseaus_ori gins_part_deux/