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Comment count is 50
Wander - 2010-08-04

Not like the movie looks good, but basically every movie does these before the previews start. Not so much pretentious as the actors and director being paid to say nice things about the movie.


fatatty - 2010-08-04

Ehn not super pretentious but considering what they're talking about any amount of pretension is too much.


RocketBlender - 2010-08-04

I wasn't really sure what else to call it when the director for a cartoon comes out, boasts a bit, then tell you the entire plot like that. Pretentious seemed like the right word at the time.


RocketBlender - 2010-08-04

Whoops, 5 starred myself without thinking about it. Now THAT'S pretentious.


CapnJesusHood - 2010-08-04

really how does an owl put on a helmet


mashedtater - 2010-08-04

as best you can without getting the shit scratched out of you


mashedtater - 2010-08-04

oh i read that wrong


Smellvin - 2010-08-04

Very carefully.


petep - 2010-08-04

wherever it wants!


twinkieafternoon - 2010-08-05

With it's talons.


ToucheTurtle - 2010-08-04

Not pretentious, but their dry listing of features like some corporate software marketer is pretty awful.

* LOTR and King Arthur compatible
* Characters have different looks, also personality
* Head-turning, nearly 360 degrees!


Knaaks - 2010-08-04

I dunno dude, I think comparing a fucking book for 10 year olds about magic owls or whatever to Lord of the Rings, probably the most beloved fantasy work of all time, is pretty damn pretentious!


petep - 2010-08-04

what if the owls spoke finnish then would it be okay


pastorofmuppets - 2010-08-05

I agree. It was like that demo of the touch screen soda fountain.


kingarthur - 2010-08-04

Do British accents lend crap like this a sense of respectability on the cheap?


ToucheTurtle - 2010-08-04

If you're going to get twisted up about accents you should probably learn to tell the difference between a British accent and an Australian accent.

So, are you really asking if Aussie accents lend a sense of respectability? Seriously?


kingarthur - 2010-08-05

Well, to be fair, I wasn't listening that close. So yes, they sound like aussies. So, the proper question should be if this movie lends Australia any respectability.


Xenocide - 2010-08-04

Hi, I'm Zack Snyder, director of Billy Crudup's blue penis, and I'm here to talk to you about HELMET OWLS.

Remember Lord of the Rings? Star Wars? The Bible? Well, fuck 'em, because HELMET OWLS. They eat mice. They wear helmets. They speak with English accents, because myths and legends and folklore were invented in Englishland. Helmets were invented there,too. And put on owls.

It's based on a series of amazingly not self-published books about a magic tree. Its name sounds like a dog having its tail stepped on. Hey, did you know there's like, five kinds of owls? That's why our movie will be so good.

And the characters! They each have personalities! They're really interesting because they can turn their heads. Then in the end they fight the evil owls (they believe they should control all of the other owls) but the evil owls lose, because of mystic courage, or something, in Camelot. Anyway, now that you know the ending, go see the movie.

Who's this chick sitting next to me?


fedex - 2010-08-04

this


aikimoe - 2010-08-05

You have made me laugh. I thank you.


BHWW - 2010-08-05

I heard of these books and I also was surpised they were published by an actual publisher (ok Scholastic but still) instead of being available as softcovers from an outfit like PublishAmerica or iUniverse (complete with cover illustrations that look like they were homemade by a bored teenager using a cracked copy of Photoshop)


ashtar. - 2010-09-22

Officially writing 'Xenocide+poetv 4ever' in a big crayon heart.


Nikon - 2010-08-04

This movie trailer made me less likely to watch the movie about talking owls in helmets.


WHO WANTS DESSERT - 2010-08-04

Watch more trailers

Stop being butthurt about the fratboy director who ruined your favorite funnybooks


RocketBlender - 2010-08-04

Why is it poeTV form to trash talk the submitter if you don't like the video?


fatatty - 2010-08-05

It's internet form to trash talk anyone you disagree with. The advantage of POEtv is it's usually at least funny. WHO WANTS DESSERT is hit or miss but I do enjoy his choice of the word "funnybooks" so I'll call this a partial hit.


sosage - 2010-08-04

This medium is just grasping at anything at this point.


Meerkat - 2010-08-04

EVIL OWLS


Old_Zircon - 2010-08-04

Owls deserve better than this garbage.


CornOnTheCabre - 2010-08-04

How the hell did a recent Zack Snyder movie get put up as "The most pretentious movie trailer I have ever seen" and it wasn't the one for Sucker Punch?


RocketBlender - 2010-08-04

Sucker Punch was mocked here last week, I'm pretty sure.


StanleyPain - 2010-08-04

FUCK YEAH CG OWLS

NU METAL!

HELMETS!!

HUGO WEAVING!!


SUMMER 2011


StanleyPain - 2010-08-05

Also, as someone who works with books, trust me when I say the Guardians series is maybe just a notch or two above the Warriors series. It's also meant for very young readers. The idea that Zach Snyder of all people is making them into movies is really hilarious.

"THEY'RE LIKE LORD OF THE RINGS"

If in that you mean it's horrible, generic, rip-off fantasy where the authors can't think of anything more interesting for their creations to do other than fight each other and use crusty, old cliches like mystic prophecies and the lone boy searching for his heroes, etc. etc....oh wait, LOTR isn't like that at all.


fluffy - 2010-08-04

I AM MORALLY OUTRAGED THAT THEY MADE THE OWLS EYES ABLE TO MOVE INDEPENDENTLY FROM THEIR HEADS


memedumpster - 2010-08-05

That dude's Epoch tee shirt tells me everything I need to know about this movie. Also, this is worse than driving owls to extinction, this is defamation.


Hammer Falls - 2010-08-05

This is the fourth or fifth trailer for this, and the teaser poster has gone through three revisions (when they first started marketing it, the tagline was "from the studio that brought you Happy Feet"). Basically, Warner Bros. either knows they have a bad film or are having a hard time trying to figure out how to market it... or both. So this is the "let's spell it out and hope for the best" play. Bad signs all around.


Goethe and ernie - 2010-08-05

Got to Zack Snyder, had to stop watching, his voice/face is like being physically molested through the screen. Five stars for evil.


Rodents of Unusual Size - 2010-08-05

Five stars because I hated every second of this. Just to cover our bases:

* This is the Last Airbender of owl movies
* Zack Snyder's voice oozes douchiness. More than sweat.
* Those are some of the same clouds I saw in 300.
* It's Valiant with even less plot. Fuck yeah!

Are they seriously just going through the absolute worst fantasy novels they can find? And I've never heard of these books. Are they referring to the top 10 juvenile YA list?


RocketBlender - 2010-08-05

It's only a matter of time before they make movies based on Diary of a Wimpy Kid or those shitty 40 page books lined up in the learning to read sections.


Xenocide - 2010-08-05

Actually, a Diary of a Wimpy Kid movie came out back in March. It's okay if you blocked it out. That was probably the best course of action.


RocketBlender - 2010-08-05

GAAAAH!!!


Hammer Falls - 2010-08-06

And... there's a sequel, "Diary of a Wimpy Kid 2: Roderick Rules", next year.


twinkieafternoon - 2010-08-05

tl;dr:
I don't get the fascination with children's books by young artists, and I share an anecdote about a personal experience.
........
What is it with self-important directors and their love of trying to reinvent children's books across different media? It's not like this is a powerful novel where there's enough depth to it to see if it works being translated to a different form of storytelling. It's a colorful book about owls whose characters resemble the stereotypes kids see in other kids at their school, but as owls going on adventures.

Recently, I quit working for a Shakespeare theater 20 minutes from where I live. I quit for a variety of reasons, ranging from "they wouldn't pay me to work there and hung 'non-profit' over my head, despite making profits on their shows" to "they lied repeatedly to me about opportunities I was in line for." But one of the things that always confounded me was that they rarely ever attempted to put on Shakespeare plays; instead, they loved--repeat, LOVED--translating childrens' books like "The Little Prince" or "The Nice Dragon" into shitty one acts.

Now, mind you, not simple one acts that children could/would act in, but rather "poetic" re-written one act plays of the books filled with useless physical metaphors, bad iambic poetry, and expensive "costumes-that-are-CRAZILY-OH-MAN-ALSO-set-pieces-because-that's-s o-original" that adults acted in that were terrible. The director I worked with was so enthralled by the kids books she read as a child, and it never made any sense. She spent who knows how many thousands to put herself through graduate school to study Shakespeare and founded her own Shakespeare theatre company, yet all she could wrap her mind around was reimagining childrens' books and not paying me.

I don't get it, is all.


Rodents of Unusual Size - 2010-08-05

Out of self important directors that are obsessed with shit, I think Zack Snyder just became their king.


fatatty - 2010-08-05

Where The Wild Things Are turned out pretty awesome. But Spike Jonez is not a pretentious douche, so that helps.


Twitch - 2010-08-05

Dude they're totally making a reboot of 'The Rats of NIMH', sweet!


notascientist - 2010-09-11

I just realized that the minute I hear Nu Metal, chorus drenched vocals associated with anything, my esteem for that thing, however low it may be, falls tremendously again. Who the fuck likes that music? WHAT HUMAN BEING COULD LIKE IT, GOD DAMNIT!?


Wombles - 2010-09-19

I like owls, but this looks fucking stupid as hell. Hope I'm wrong - assuming the music used here is not in the movie is the only thing that hold me back from hatemail


The New Meat - 2013-11-05

Well.

You can honestly say that it's the best movie ever made about a race war between owls.


Lurchi - 2015-04-23

Armond White loved it.


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