I genuinely believe this gentleman's encyclopedic knowledge of fast food restaurants has no bearing whatsoever on his weight.

He doesn't go to McDonald's. He has someone else bring it to him.

Just about every fat person I know has taken it upon themselves in these modern times to successfully lose weight and improve their lives. The ones who chose not to also chose not to bitch about those who did. They all just won.

This is the most exercise this guy has gotten in twenty years.

And he's not lying: he DOES have a big heart. It's called hypertrophy of the heart and it's pretty dangerous.

I'd post some more jokes, but I need to go to the gym. And then Wendy's.

At 5:05 he seems to be suggesting that there should be a Special Olympics for fat people. I'm wholeheartedly behind this idea.

If you close your eyes there are parts where he sounds like a near-decent Bill Cosby impression. That alone is kinda awesome.

Metabolism doesn't explain why you were too lazy to change your shirt before you hit record.

I initially read that as "ten minutes of defecation." Which I could totally see out of this guy.

"This is coming from an angry fat man right now"

No, I'm afraid I might get inhaled.

1:10

LOL

that's the one reason.

right.

Wow what a huge, fat, dummy. I guess it is more of a survival mechanism to be kind of brain dead to survive in a place were it is 106 degrees out and you weigh 350 lbs... like how cows don't care if flies land on their eyeballs.

I thought he was leaking fat until he explained that he sprayed himself with a water.

You could never wear a good costume to a fall festival.

I don't think this man knows what metabolism means. He does make a good point though, obesity is not a disease, it's habitual incorrect eating and a lack of exercise.

Then again, he goes on to compare fat people to someone with cerebral palsy. Well played sir.

Ew. trim your nails.

"Ridiculeness."

I'll be honest. I didn't make it far. Once he said, "Americans being lazy is not why they're fat." I hit the stop button.

5 fat stars, because they eat at McDonalds every day.

I honestly hate fate people and won't acknowledge their presence in real life, which is hard sometimes because you will physically have to move to avoid them while not looking at them.

What the hell is that bib-like darkness on his shirt? Sweat? Food? A shadow cast by his massive head? An imprint from constantly wearing a bib?