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Desc:In this newest Metroid game, Samus has feelings and stuff
Category:Video Games, Cartoons & Animation
Tags:Nintendo, Metroid, Samus, wispy narration, other m
Submitted:fluffy
Date:09/07/10
Views:1523
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FABIO
Jesus christ.


This...this is worse than Xenosaga, isn't it?
RocketBlender
If you ask me, the best/worst part is the opening. There's some asshole from space cops there, who tells her she isn't welcome, and to leave. She decides to be defiant and stay, despite his orders, even though she's a bounty hunter and isn't being paid for this shit. She also decides that she's not going to use any bombs, missiles, armor, etc until the guy who doesn't want her to be there authorizes them.

This trend continues for the entire game. He doesn't authorize you to turn on your heat shields until you nearly die in 2 heated rooms and scale an active volcano from the inside (yes, there's a volcano in the space station. As well as cyberpunk forests, dessert, and an arctic waste land. I'd hate to be on their horticulture team.

(spoilers if you give a shit) Late in the game it's suggested he may be a traitor, and after that he dies, and Samus still doesn't use the shit he hasn't authorized yet, like the better armor with gravity shields. She finally decides it might be okay to turn those on as she's getting sucked out into space.

I could go on, but you get the idea.

Quad9Damage
Jesus. That... that's almost as bad as Fusion. Actually, it might be worse.

RocketBlender
I'd call it worse. At least in Fushion you weren't hanging on to everything, forcing yourself not to use it out of respect for a corpse.

Speaking of said corpse, remember Adam, the annoying computer that told you exactly where to go in Fusion, made from the brain of a dead officer or some shit? Same guy.

The asshole that won't authorize shit for you is the guy that gets made into the computer brain. Apparently when you outright disobey the space cops and blow a part of a space station to hell, they scrape of what they can of your brain and immortalize you in a computer because you're so valuable or some shit, then pair you off with tho only person they know of to have an extremely unprofessional relationship with you. Good going, space cops.

WHO WANTS DESSERT
THE BABY
Xenocide
I love how game nerds across the internet are shitting their pants over Samus having a personality in this game. So many fanfics cruelly undone.

Cutscenes aside, the game is actually really good.
RocketBlender
I couldn't decide hot to feel about it. I started by hating it because of the 'authorization' bullshit, but after a while, when I started backtracking and hunting for items, it started to feel really fun and what I wanted out of a Metroid. Then we got to this cutscene, and it ended after 6 hours, leaving me overall terribly disappointed.

FABIO
Does it really take a nerd to recognize this as awful?

RocketBlender
No. It really doesn't. And hell, it has nothing to do with the fact they gave her a personality or undid fanfics. Okay, it might for some people. The problem is the personality and cutscenes they gave her are complete garbage.

FeeFiFoFoTheFifeFifeBrown
How does Super Mario feel about never having reconciled with his late father?

Can Donkey King ever learn to trust again after returning home from work early walking in on Diddy and Funky?

Kirby's spraypaint-huffing is rapidly spiraling out of control.

FABIO
Is this really a hard concept for so many people?


1. You don't have to be a weeabo to dislike terrible things.

2. Stories are fine, but if they're going to be this nails on the chalkboard terrible, just don't bother and leave it out entirely.

It's such a spectacle since they took a platforming game series with zero story and suddenly decided that it needed 15 minute cutscenes of generic anime bloo bloo bloo. It's like they DID make a Mario game about daddy issues.

RomancingTrain
It is decidedly un-nerd to hate videogame stories, they just distract from the gameplay. Hell, I thought Metroid Prime 2 had too much story.

Xenocide
No one said weeaboo but you, Fabio. Fancy that.

The difference between this and the Mario thing is that Metroid has been flirting with a serious plotline since pretty much day one, complete with each game building into a larger timeline (which, unlike the Zeldas, actually makes some damn sense.) Whereas Mario and Kirby have never given a shit about plotlines and are pure gameplay with intentionally shallow cartoon people. Metroid with a plot is something that was bound to happen sooner or later.

My point is, the game that happens inbetween those scenes is being forgotten because people are too busy fixating on OH MAN DID YOU HEAR WHAT SAMUS JUST SAID. And that's a shame, because the game itself is great, and takes more risks (most of which pay off) than almost any sequel I've ever seen. And in an industry built on annual rehashed sequels, that's something we should be encouraging.

Riskbreaker
It's not like the "standards" of story telling in the industry are that high. When something like Uncharted 2 is considered "the best" of what video games can do in terms of stories it goes without saying that we are not sailing in a sea of quality of story telling.

Also, at the end of the day fans just want more of the same, all the time. They will always reject changes, be good or bad.

FeeFiFoFoTheFifeFifeBrown
"The difference between this and the Mario thing is that Metroid has been flirting with a serious plotline since pretty much day one, complete with each game building into a larger timeline (which, unlike the Zeldas..."

SHUT UP
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SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP
SHUT UP

cognitivedissonance
Actually, Luigi is the one with Daddy issues, as anyone who played through the Paper Mario series recalls.

Reading Luigi's delusional diary made me cry.

SolRo
Mass Effect has a great fucking story, shit, they have great stories for every little ball of dirt planet, technology and gun in their game.

pineapplejuicer
FeeFiFoFoTheFife oh just take the fucking stars
BHWW
There was no need to give Samus Aran a "personality"; She was fine as the silent type, turning her into a petulant chump with poorly-realized father issues (poorly realized on the part of the creators) doesn't really do much for anything.
spikestoyiu
Or you could just enjoy the game and not give a shit.

RomancingTrain
unskippable cutscenes

BHWW
Normally I wouldn't give a care, but the cutscenes are very badly done. The people responsible are actually striving for something more than mere bland filler and fall really short of the goal. Bland filler would have been preferable and easily ignored - this blah-blah-babies-Samus-Aran's-a-loose-cannon storyline is kind of a drag on an otherwise OK game.

Dr. Lobotomy
The game is really good? What?

It's a half-assed rehash of Metroid Fusion right down to the hand holding "go there next on the space ship/lab/station... dumb ass". Then tack on horrible controls, "concentrate and heal"(while 5 monsters swarm you), a complete disregard for the innovations of the Metroid Prime trilogy, stop everything and find the pixel sequences, lame music, none of the atmospheric "feel" found throughout Super Metroid and the Prime Trilogy.

For fuck sake, they even removed the classic little metroid "you've found something" tune.

And that's all "cutscenes aside".
Mancakes
Grrrooaaaannnnnn.
Harveyjames
You know the worst part is that every terrible decision they made in flashing out the 'universe' of Metroid here is going to be carried over by whoever gets saddled with making the next one. You know, even the terrible Space Marine costumes in this are a callback to the third (horrible) Metroid Prime game.

Did I ever mention how I went and saw this game being demonstrated at a Nintendo event and the guy working the booth told me it was a great game because it reminded him of Halo :(
Knuckles
Prime 3 was a great game bogged down by an overwrought and poorly acted story, and a couple useless gimmicks that somewhat overshadowed the traditional gameplay elements -- the ones that made the other Metroid games great.

It looks like this game took up everything bad about Prime 3 and discarded the rest.

Riskbreaker
This is what happens when game companies think they are pleasing fanboys. Neverless, the story doesn't look any more awful than any other current gen game these days. Xenosaga still thriumps in the abysmal writting department.
Kid Fenris
If you think Xenosaga has the worst writing in a video game, I have some tri-Ace RPGs to show you.

RocketBlender
Please.... please don't.

Riskbreaker
Infinite undiscovery? End of Eternity? Surprise me sir, i have seen the eyes of the beast too many times.

RomancingTrain
Star Ocean 3 for starters

Riskbreaker
Ah yes, well, here's the thing. Star Ocean is a dumb matrix-esque mess, but Xenosaga is not just poorly written, is ten times more pretentious. It thinks it's telling the most complex and ellaborated psycho-religious-spiritual story the world has ever seen. I can tolerate crappy pulp fantasy nonesense, but crap that takes itself way too seriously? It's the worst kind of crap.

memedumpster
So... when does the movie come out?
Aelric
Thumb up, Thumb down? Was she banging Ebert?
Aelric
Also, the only thing I really am curious about is why is Other M the title. It's a really bad title. Could anyone tell me?

RomancingTrain
It's an anagram of mother and Metroid: Other M acyonymized is MOM also THE BABY and the villain was Motherbrain reincarnated into a human woman. Basically, Sakamoto read a book on symbolism and didn't understand a lick of it.

Aelric
Wow. Just wow.

StanleyPain
this is terrible.
vissarion
THUMBS UP
Nikon
You dun goofed
Harveyjames
At some point we're gonna have to accept the fact that our idea of what the Metroid games should be and Nintendo's idea just aren't the same :(
Caminante Nocturno
Samus went from not talking at all to talking way too much.
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