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Desc:starring Steven Seagal and his amazing magic bullets.
Category:Classic Movies, Crime
Tags:bullets, Ridiculous, steven seagal, take that laws of physics!
Submitted:Rodents of Unusual Size
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Comment count is 13
i counted a 38 round clip for his first burst.
was i right?
you apparently missed the 5 separate 1 nanosecond reloads

Steven Seagal can reload a gun just by pulling back the slide. He doesn't need another clip or more bullets because he has done so much training.

His gun just had 38 really small bullets in it is all.

Caminante Nocturno
The Powerpuff Girls theme just cant get started.
Wouldn't it have been easier to sidestep all those arrows?

the one that hits the wall after he moves was clearly going to miss him in the first place

so much wrong with this

Yeah, I noticed that too. And then I wondered why I'm bothing to notice *anything* about a Steven Seagal movie.

Having seen this movie (as part of my self-appointed mission to watch all of Seagal's direct-to-DVD/USA Network output), I can say an appropriate tagline would have been "You Will Believe A Fat Man Can Fly, Through Awkward Wire-Fu Stunts". Seagal flails his arms at mooks, they go flying.

Plus, in one scene he fights a ladyboy with razor sharp fingernails, mostly by standing in one place while s/he zips around at him.

Plus, the chief villan is a corrupt Thai military officer who gets some mystical backup from some sort of weird-bearded wizard but the wizard's anti-Seagal hoodoo complete with needle-stuck doll is countered by the goodvibes of a monastary full of chanting Buddhist monks on Seagal's side.
Machete should have been that much fun.

Man, it's too bad the FBI ruined Seagal's career because he's not a has-been, one dimensional, no talent douche-bag or anything.
He must have wrote the script for this movie himself. No running scenes.
Steven Seagal lives in a world of pure imagination, and we are not allowed in without a passport.
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