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Tags:how to, gambling, Las Vegas, Everything is Terrible, EIT
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Comment count is 22
eatenmyeyes - 2010-11-05
Slot machine tournaments? Is she fucking with me?
phalsebob - 2010-11-05
Can you smell the sweat, stale beer, and windex after shave from here?
IrishWhiskey - 2010-11-05
Yet another dupe linked directly from the tags, but at least this time the old video is inactive.

IrishWhiskey - 2010-11-05
Key tips from the Master:

1) Play slot machines from 3-4 in the morning
2) Drink Big Gulps
3) Don't hit me with your car

Xenocide - 2010-11-05
Key tips from the master of making videos:

1) Talking about Big Gulps is a great way to fill time.

2) Getting your charisma-free wife to talk to the camera also fills time.

3) Do not let anyone know that you actually have no influence on the laws of probability. You want to preserve your mystique.

4) Also, don't mention how you spent your entire lifetime slot machine winnings on the aforementioned Big Gulp.

5) Do not tell your wife that there is no such thing as a "slot tournament."

Scrotum H. Vainglorious - 2010-11-05
Just because it's F3AR
themilkshark - 2010-11-05
The bit about the purse must be the point at which anyone who paid .99 for this had an aneurysm.
The Townleybomb - 2010-11-06
Nobody who pays good money for a videotape about playing the slots has any concept of the value of money.

baleen - 2010-11-05
Oldie but a goodie
mamiebangs - 2010-11-05
Dr. Tobias Funke needs to get his medical license back
fluffy - 2010-11-05
He's really let himself go

Old_Zircon - 2010-11-05
I have an amazing "how to win at video poker" tape that appears to have been self-released in the 80s (hand-typed label, blank cover). I should really digitize that shit.
Xenocide - 2010-11-05
So dollar machines take....dollars?

IrishWhiskey - 2010-11-05
The key point is that they take ONLY dollars (except the ones that don't). Vegas casinos are desperately trying to give money away to people, but are stymied as tourists spend hours jamming nickels, quarters and buttons into dollar machines laden with cash, ready to burst. Unfortunately these tourists become thirsty and leave at around 2:59AM.

If only they knew!!!

chumbucket - 2010-11-05
you made my 5

mouser - 2010-11-05
But can't I put four quarters in a dollar machine?
sosage - 2010-11-05
Even the camera is not interested in what she is saying.
dementomstie - 2010-11-05
The fact that during the "Magic Edit" at the beginning he just steps off to the right and you can see his shadow sums up exactly the amount of trust I put in this man and his advice.
Spoonybard - 2010-11-06
You can see part of his ARM. Jesus CHRIST.

balistic - 2010-11-06
My dad built slot machines for 25 years. I would show this to him, but I don't want him to have another heart attack.
Jet Bin Fever - 2010-11-06
This guy is the pinnacle of success at slot machines.
Adramelech - 2010-11-06
David Cross?
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