Fuckin' colons, how do they work?

Dude what the hell are you feeding your child?

He felt inadequate because his toddler daughter took a large dump.

Who knows bowel movements? This man and his moustache.

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John Waters had a child? Will he get Divine to eat the bowel movement?

I made fun of the John Wayne guy talking about huge dumps in infomercials, and now I stand corrected.

Best thing I've seen here in awhile.

He does have skinny wrists, though.

Guys, the mix between Walken's Continental character and Gomez Adams has a point about little girls pooping.

This guy looks more like John Waters, but the monologue sounds more like something Edith Massey would say.

It's almost as if her colon would be significantly longer than the body if it were unwound and straightened out.

So basically you're full of shit?

I'm sorry sir, you just can't broadcast this story on the television. We have have rules about what kind of content you can broadcast. You can't even say bad words on TV. If you would like to reach a large audience with this story, you could perhaps try the internet? I know a guy that would love to read your story on a podcast! Just be aware that, for legal reasons, Tim Henson will probably need to add a line that establishes that your daughter is an 18 year old midget or an amputee or something.

What's that? You're selling fake medicine? Scamming people and ripping them off? Why didn't you say so? Let's get that on the air! No, don't change a thing!

Damn, look at that chick's jacket.