Can I has face bite?

Has a camcorder clock ever been correct?

Even if it was, he's pretending to sleep in order to show everyone what a dickhead this dickhead cat is.

"Corporal cuddling"

nope mine comes back five minutes later PISSED.

cats aren't so much pets as life lessons

most dogs want to please their owners and try to give people what they want

no cat ever had the slightest concern what any person ever wanted ever

Yet every time you tell a cat owner that you hate cats, every single one of them swears up and down that their cat is "different!"

Legally, they are considered "feral and untrainable" animals, not pets.

Cats are the best.

oh no my cat is a little asshole.

he isnt different at all. he is aloof when i want affection, he constantly puts his ass right in front of your face when you happen to watch anything thats not him, he scares the shit out of you dragging his fishing sticks up the stairs like the marley ghost at 3 am, and god FORBID i pee with the door closed because then he yowls like i beat him.

pretty much he is the best thing ever.

Cats aren't pets, they're companion animals. They are a companion in the same way as the roommate who never does his dishes, always forgets to flush the toilet, and barfs in the living room and doesn't bother to clean it up or tell you that he did. Oh and he never pays the rent either.

Don't forget "destroys your stuff thing when they don't get their way."

There's plenty of exceptions; I've known and owned some cats that were capable of insane levels of affection, sometimes to the point where them being aloof would be preferable.

The cat's just delegating its responsibilities. It's smart.

Cat owners' stupid rationalizations about the awesomeness of their chosen companion animal get old after awhile.

Still, 5 stars for this particular cat.

Cats are little cute fluffy assholes, you either love them for what they are or you don't. As simple as that.