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Category:Crime, Accidents & Explosions
Tags:Doom, bad CGI, moby dick
Submitted:Old_Zircon
Date:12/18/10
Views:1909
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Comment count is 30
Billy the Poet
ASSHOLE!
Adramelech
Saw this a week ago, does not disappoint.
Jet Bin Fever
Great! Now do Billy Budd.
Lurchi
then do Pierre: or, the Ambiguities

Mother_Puncher
Great. Now they turned one of my favorite books into a modernized shitty sci fi film with horrible CGI and stock monster audio. On top of that, I'm a die hard Spin City fan so Barry Bostwick as Ahab is a dream come true.

My body is ready but my mind is having trouble comprehending all of this. I must see this slice of fried gold.
kennydra
this is not nearly as enraging as the gullivers travels movie with jack black. is that trailer here? someone should submt it. it NEEDS to be here.

kennydra
not me. i'm all depressed about submitting videos now because i submitted a new cyriak video like one second after some one else did.

Hegemony Cricket
But suddenly as he peered down and down into its depths, he profoundly saw a white living spot no bigger than a white weasel, with wonderful celerity uprising, and magnifying as it rose, till it turned, and then there were plainly revealed two long crooked rows of white, glistening teeth, floating up from the undiscoverable bottom. It was Moby Dick's open mouth and scrolled jaw; his vast, shadowed bulk still half blending with the blue of the sea. Still rising, Mercury's speed and Mars' strength thrust polished ivory through the sea's skin; a pallid column of doomed fate viewed through a crystal window, suspended by lift; the pilots' eyes transfixed on the howling gullet that rushed towards their fragile airship.

craptacular
i ask myself, why the hell would they make this ? then i look at each actor and recall redlettermedia's phrase: glad to be working... glad to be working... glad to be working... really glad to be working.
kingarthur
Renee O'Connor who was last in what? Darkman 8 or some movie where she "starred" opposite Bruce Campbell?

Oktay
Why? Two little words: public domain.

Old_Zircon
Is the pink demon roar from Doom public domain? I thought they only released the source code for theengine, and retained the rights to all the media.

garcet71283
So the title is.... 2010: Moby Dick

Is there going to be 2011: Old Man and the Sea?

duck&cover
"Fish, I love and respect you very much. Drop the depth charges!"

dead_cat
I for one cannot wait for the sequel, "Moby Dick vs. That Giant Squidshark Thing."
Oktay
Thar she blows.
cognitivedissonance
I thought that "The Life Aquatic" was the best Moby Dick remake.
Rape Van Winkle
wait . . . so this isn't made by the Asylum?
Caminante Nocturno
I would really like to see The Asylum make a movie based off of Lolita.
Knuckles
Haven't you seen enough Lolita remakes?

memedumpster
There was also the Star Trek episode with the great white energy cloud that Kirk kept feeding security guards to. It too lacked the deep emotional abyss of the source material.
Lurchi
There was a big-budget "reimagining" of Moby Dick in the works, directed by Timur Bekmambetov ("Wanted").

quote:
The writers revere Melville’s original text, but their graphic novel-style version will change the structure. Gone is the first-person narration by the young seaman Ishmael, who observes how Ahab’s obsession with killing the great white whale overwhelms his good judgment as captain.

This change will allow them to depict the whale’s decimation of other ships prior to its encounter with Ahab’s Pequod, and Ahab will be depicted more as a charismatic leader than a brooding obsessive.

"Our vision isn’t your grandfather’s ‘Moby Dick,’ " Cooper said. "This is an opportunity to take a timeless classic and capitalize on the advances in visual effects to tell what at its core is an action-adventure revenge story."

Scott Stuber is producing with Jim Lemley and Cormac and Marianne Wibberley.

Both Stuber and Bekmambetov have deals at Universal. Bekmambetov will look to apply the visual flourish he displayed on the U summer hit "Wanted."

"We wanted to take a graphic novel sensibility to a classic narrative," said Collage. They brought it to the Wibberlys, the "National Treasure" scribes who are branching into producing and will team with Stuber. The project then caught the fancy of Bekmambetov and Lemley, who teamed with the helmer on "Wanted."
Lurchi
Maybe this is the result of that project's failure?

memedumpster
I am shocked by level of awful their plans were.

kingarthur
I've seen a little glimpse of hell.

Paracelsus
"A graphic novel sensibility". Jesus wept.

Paracelsus
Also, not an action-adventure revenge story. Maybe in the Cliff's Notes. How about a merciless and deeply existential philosophical attack on trancendentalism? Ah, fuck it.

Caminante Nocturno
What an offensive collection of words.

Lauritz Melchior
I was going to make some sarcastic remark about the movie's adherence to the essence of Melville's novel, but ...

"to tell what at its core is an action-adventure revenge story."

^
That quote is real! I had to look it up myself. I thought that you were masterfully satirizing this travesty. But it's real.

Candlejackv616
So is Asylum this generations Troma?
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