Dear god.

Hooray!

Atherosclerosis and diabetes aren't just about heart attacks and amputations, guys.

THAT IS NOT HOW THAT WORKS!!!!!!!!!

This is a technological advancement. A common erectile prosthesis uses a manually pumped bulb in the scrotum.

pump it up
Reebok

"Charles Barkley???"

"That's right, kids. It's me, Charles Barkley. With my new Nike air-pump penis, I can carouse to the whole longer, faster, and with less wasted energy than when carousing with the competition, keeping me---and my penis---in the game!"

***Charles dunks on someone with an erection***

"WOW! Thanks Charles!"

NEW Nike Air-Pump-Penis Enhancement! At Footlocker!

I was wondering what that big lump in my scrotum was.

Fun implant to get. Spend your excess income from working at the crazy house to get one installed. Play around with it thinking that this is how Elvis must have lived.

Until somebody wants to make you poor. Fucking midget with an ax to grind inflates it until you float away and then ignites it with a match. Had to go with the hydrogen gas, didn't you?