Shitrismirakel: This is how I interpreted your post. "I hate MMA cause I'm lame."

We get it: you're not good at sports.

Martial arts, from MMA to TKD are all about playing out adolescent fantasies. Yeah, you'll totally armbar that rapist, just like the guy in the video, and the girl will want to come home with you, and you'll both live happily ever after. Also, your friends and random strangers on the internet will respect you. We'll shower you with flowers and apologize for one-staring your shitty warrior-by-proxy videos.

We get it: you're fat and not good at sports.

How many girls did the jocks "take" from you in high school?

You guys haven't caught on that MMA is fake?

I thought everyone knew -- or at least that it was only useful as steam-release material for fatties and bouncers.

Is MMA fake? Was it always fake? I never really followed it, but I thought that at least in the pre-UFC days it was genuine.

http://mmasoldier.com/mma/wp-content/uploads/2010/09/Marcus-Davis_ Eye_THUMB1.jpg

It's totally fake, look at all that makeup on his eye

404 on that url there.

here's one that works: http://tinyurl.com/daviseye

Even more gross, the Eastman Cut:

http://www.themmaspace.com/file/pic/gallery/thumb/4109.jpg

On the off chance anyone really is unsure, it's a regulated sport. Predetermining the outcome of a UFC match is the same as rigging a horse race or fixing an NBA game.

Both very much doable, but for those with broken sarcastic detectors: I was joking.

This is from the old days of UFC. Not everyone was familiar with defense against those moves as they are now.

Yeah, I think this might even be pre-hoyce.

I can't tell what's real in these comments anymore.

There's no such thing as pre-*R*oyce UFC. Royce's brother, Rorion, started the UFC, and Royce won the first event.

This is from UFC 4.