John Carpenter's take on a classic story of a horrible monster...
...Stolen by people who thought The Village was cool.
I mean the part where the old guy was getting paranoid about the wolf being one of them is kind of Carpenter's schtick. And ripped from The Thing.
Good. Nobody talks smack about Carpenter on my watch.
Yet another movie made to get a quick buck from the masses who dont understand the art of film whatsoever.
Why would you 1-star it? What you just mentioned seems pretty evil to me.
I add an imaginary 4 stars to this submission.
I am afraid of the fact that 'twighlight' is a linked tag.
I totally thought it was a "Transmorphers" style knock-off of another blockbuster.
So... this is a joke, right?
Gary Oldman has been doing some amazingly shit movies lately. I mean, I know he's gotta pay the bills, but damn.
Yeah, this is awful.
- it ends with her siding with the wolf, because that would be edgy and undermine the idiot folktale it's based on, and like NOBODY'S ever done that before, maaaan.
- it ends with her suddenly turning into an action hero and beating the life out of the wolf, because a scene like that is all empowering and shit, and totally makes up for the actress having to star in such an uninspired pile of celluloid vomit to get to it.
What's next, a dark, edgy take on "The Three Billy Goats Gruff"?
The Old Woman who lived in a Doc Marten.
Isn't the original folk tale dark and edgy enough prior to it's inevitable Disneyfication?
You want to see a good reinterpretation of Red Riding Hood, go rent Freeway.
Billy the Poet
I was thinking "Company of Wolves" which was ten years before that, and was about the last time it was clever to add 3dge to a children's story.
|Caminante Nocturno |
5 stars for not being Tim Burton.
|Billy the Poet |
We've arranged for you to marry this slab of steak with an anachronistic haircut.
Wow, that looks like something rifftrax could tear apart with gusto.
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