poopskin 
You get a free Soundblaster Pro?!?!? Also, what the fuck is that bitch wearing?
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Stupid Lisa Garbage Face
The Animal Care program sends you some live and some dead animals
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Spider Jerusalem
What do I get for High School? Acne and awkward sex in the back of a Dodge Neon?
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Jacques Strap
It's obvious her skill specialty is eating
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Chalkdust
if you choose Animal Care Specialist, do they mail you a dog?
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Spit Spingola
I prefer the earlier version of this ad that rhymes TV/VCR repair with Child Day Care.
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