|Rape Van Winkle |
I don't really understand what is going on here.
From the ramblings of friends into this, and watching the vid.
Jeff Hardy (dude without Crow makeup) is/was popular, and for reasons outside of the ring has been unable to fight. He's been off for some time, and he's scripted as the big thing, so he's gotta actually get in the ring and fight someone.
Dude's obviously not obviously right when he walks down the ramp. He's not even walking straight - high, drunk, whatever. This is the PPV main event, and this guy is going to be useless for what should be a long fight.
White hair dude scrambles out to ostensibly announce stuff - he's there to give the two guys the new script. One guess (there's a few) is the instructions were "You, turn your back to Sting to throw out your shirt to the fans. Sting, you attack him from behind, tragically knocking him out and thus postponing the match". Hardy complies, keeps trying to bait the attack, but Sting refuses to play ball and be made the bad guy because the other guy couldn't show up to work sober. Eventually Hardy gives up on it, Sting beats his ass in 90 seconds, walks away.
I don't give a fuck about wrestling, but I find breakdowns like this to be kinda interesting.
Jeff Hardy shows up heavily under the influence of some sort of substance. As Hardy's sloppy, drugged out moves had previously injured three other wrestlers in the past year, veteran wrestler Sting (current TNA Heavyweight Champion) refused to wrestle him. Sting forced his finisher on Hardy (who then didn't sell it properly at all) early in the match, ending the promoted main event of the pay-per-view at least fifteen minutes early.
This is the kind of stuff that killed WCW over a decade ago.
Train wreck break-down:
First guy out is Hardy, a career fuck-up currently facing jail time on drug charges. His entrance music plays for ages before he stumbles out.
Hardy is singing to the camera and almost falls face first walking up the ring steps.
Hardy has a conversation with the referee, who looks concerned. He then rolls out of the ring and props himself up on the security barricade.
Sting is out next, a veteran and a consummate professional kinda guy.
Referee has words with Sting, Sting looks annoyed as he takes off his coat. Referee listens to his ear piece.
Slightly off camera, the referee holds up the "X" signal with his arms. In pro wrestling, this is a sign given when someone is legit injured or something has gone wrong.
Eric Bischoff, a booker and producer, comes out to add a stipulation. In reality, he's there to give new instructions to both men.
Sting is having none of this shit and clearly says to Bischoff "Just tell me what you are doing."
Match starts. Hardy is playing to the crowd despite playing a heel/bad guy.
Sting grabs Hardy, Hardy refuses to work. Sting pulls Hardy into his finisher and holds him down for a three count. Hardy scratches Sting's neck trying to kick out of the pin.
Sting stands up, puts his hands on his hips and gives Hardy the best "SON. I AM DISAPPOINT." face I have ever seen.
Hardy immediately jumps up, not selling Sting's finisher, and begins making a scene.
The crowd chants "This is bullshit", Sting says he agrees.
After the show, Hardy stayed in the ring and was flipping off the crowd, inciting them to keep chanting "bullshit". He is escorted to the back by security.
This was the end of a $40 pay-per-view.
Sting's always been one of my favorites. Its awesome to see him still kicking ass.
I'll say. I'd love to see him fight Cena. That would be a tough one to call.
typical wrestling event, 90 second match takes 10.5 minutes to show
|Jack Dalton |
Everyone is booing, and Sting is walking away victorious, proclaiming with disappointment, "I agree... I agree." That is pretty much a low-point for a pro wrestling company.
Which is a major accomplishment in and of itself with TNA.
This was stupid even for wrestling. Also, those announcers are fucking terrible.
Hardy cannot stand up without holding a ring rope once the match starts. He is clearly on drugs from the moment he walks out (late) until the end.
|MacGyver Style Bomb |
Christ, at least Jake Roberts only pulled this shit at an indy PPV.
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