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Desc:A1: At least 7 times in one sec. A2:Over 13 Billion! A3: I'll have 3 copies.
Category:Religious, Horror
Tags:Angel, Christian, Perry Stone, buy my book!, legion
Submitted:kamlem
Date:03/20/11
Views:1153
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Comment count is 20
The Mothership
"But more than that we've made this book very practical."

Some of my Biblical Archaeology students talk the way this guy does, I wonder if they haven't been reading his book. Like they have been thinking that studying the Bible as history is like 'applied angel-on-a-pinhead dancing theory'. Fucking hell.
poorwill
You teach biblical archaeology? That is damn cool. Do you go back at far as Babylonian gods and stuff or is that off the syllabus?

glasseye
How many of their little heads explode when you cover the enormous gap in the written record between the mythical events of the new testament and the first extant biblical manuscripts?

The Mothership
I do more Roman, Greek and New Testament period stuff; 150 B.C. - 150A.D. or so, although Old Testament archaeology is indeed cool.

The Mothership
Glasseye, did you mean to say Old Testament? Either way, the gap in mss records is relatively easy for them; that can be explained away or easily denied as a trick of the deceiver, a way to test faith. The one that most just can't seem to accept is that many early Christians believed that Christ rose from the dead 'figuratively' instead of 'literally'. This is a significant stumbling block, and explaining to them that 'before there was orthodoxy, there was great diversity' takes several lectures.

glasseye
No, I meant the new testament. 250 years between the supposed events and the first complete book describing even some of them is quite a long time.

DrDoalot
Those damn angels on assignment, behind a desk, pushing paperwork. It's the angels in the outfield who are saving our country.
Xenocide
Dammit, angel! You were supposed to save that guy's soul, not bring down Satan's entire Venezuelan cocaine empire! Turn in your badge!

sticky52
Pray for a tailor, maybe?
The Mothership
ooo, sick burn. *****

CharlesSmith
If you pray to God he will rocket a light-speed angel down your throat so fast that you'll be saved .03 seconds before you begin to pray. That's the rocket-fueled-light-speed-salvation of the LORD!

This white line represents an angel sent from the LORD GOD to answer a prayer. This black line represents an angel sent from DEITY X. Now watch! The lightning speed of the LORD GOD angel allows salvation to reach the prayee over 5 times faster than with DEITY X! Be like all smart followers, and choose LORD GOD Lightning Speed (tm) Angels.

"More LORD GOD Angels can dance on the head of a pin than any other brand." - That's our guarantee!
Xenocide
SPECIAL greetings?

Well, it's about time. I'm sick of those other preachers who keep trying to dump generic greetings on me.
pastorofmuppets
There is a history channel thing about angels. In it one of the experts argues that, in most depictions, the wings are put too close together to be able to generate sufficient lift.
kingarthur
Dear Lord, how I hate the "History" Channel.

fluffy
I never was that good at word puzzles in math class.
memedumpster
Holy fuck, did he just tell us that angels were going to murder us at the speed of light? Are angels to be rated in killing power now? Is Christianity not violent enough as it is?
ashtar.
The camera isn't zooming in, he's gradually growing larger.
Robin Kestrel
Yeah, yeah, this was all covered in the second edition Monster Manual.
sunisevil
He has a really big suit
Jet Bin Fever
But, he never even started to make sense.

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