Spoonybard
Empathy Generator

Empathy Suppressor

RocketBlender
Hey Chet, this seems like as good a place as any to ask and maybe be noticed:
Why give an 'exclusive pre-order bonus' to gamestop customers? Granted it's just a piece of yellow metal, but why give one only to gamestop customers and not your own? Isn't there concern gamestop's sales are cutting into steam's?

fluffy
I'm sure Chet is directly involved in retail decisionmaking

SteamPoweredKleenex
They're shaped as if they have cases, but they're all of one piece. Also, it's a video game, so lighten up. I mean, you didn't complain about near-sentient A.I., independent robots, or a gun that creates dimensional portals, I notice.

Gerhard
I would have thought the complaint would be the obvious attempt to explain why the turrets never run out of ammunition, yet the schematic clearly shows a finite quantity, dumped in a jumble into the turret body.

Actually, I don't care. It's funny and I needed a laugh.

Jet Bin Fever
Lets argue about fictional things that don't matter! WOOO!

poorwill
Gerhard: The bullets are piped in through miniature portals. Also, if you are still in touch with him, tell Dave Sim to kill himself.

chumbucket
so do "whole bullets" make bigger holes?

sannyasin
Arguing about fiction things that don't matter like would a Star Destroyer beat the Enterprise is one of the pillars of nerddom. If you find yourself doing it, you are clearly a nerd.

Gommorrah
i, too, take this comment seriously and am upset by it

Spit Spingola
CHET ISN'T FATTTT

Tom Collins
I thought that was pretty hilarious.

Merzbau
...I thought the entire joke was that the bullets not separating from the casing is negligent, dangerous, stupid, and very bad design, but being sold as a feature? You know, like everything else Aperture-branded in the game?

Tom Collins
Not only that, but there isn't a firing pin.

Hey let's not analyse this.

theSnake
Are you fucking kidding me? The Enterprise might not be able to take out a Star Destroyer in a straight up firefight, but would still probably win any encounter due to having a superior captain and officers. Jesus.

Old_Zircon
Nerds.

Longshot-
I'm with Snake on this one. The Enterprise also has TELEPORTERS and they can tele people into vital ares of a Star Destroyer to have it sabotaged from the inside, and then tele the people out. OR just teleport the whole crew of the Star Destroyer into space. Problem solved.
The crew of ANY Federation Star ship is vastly superior to the autistic burn-ward victims of a Star Destoryer.

Caminante Nocturno
Gurren Lagann can beat them all.

garcet71283
Pffftt....

A Whitestar can both outmaneuver and outgun both a Star Destroyer and the Enterprise. Plus it is capable of limited atmospheric flight and can actually take advantage of Newtonian physics in space.

Whitestar>Enterprise>Star Destroyer

Although Lexx would just eat them all.

oddeye
OMFG, a star destroyer not only has a million guns, but it also has a shitload of tie-fighters and/or stormtroopers. Also, last I checked teleporters DO NOT WORK through shields and star destroyers have shields.

Lastly, you cocksuckers, a star destroyer is FAR faster than the enterprise so your little round headed bitch can't even run away.

PRAWNED

themilkshark
Oh.

Time Travel Mishap
Your face is the dumbest thin to happen to the human race, even worse then your mom.

Bebido
Dude, not cool. Didn't you know his mom is a bullet stuffed in a turret? It hits close to home. For all of us.

Also Johnson is doing gods work.

Erix
Nice work buddy! I should give it many stars too!

Aubrey McFate
If I remember correctly, Game Informer had the image of the turret protecting the crib in it's Portal 2 preview, then VG Cats just took that joke and played it out with gore.

But hey, thanks for letting everyone know you read VG Cats!

MacGyver Style Bomb
There was a Portal 2 preview in 2007?

Aubrey McFate
Apparently not. Maybe Valve did rip this joke off! The thought of someone at Valve reading VG Cats is both depressing and not that surprising.

Caminante Nocturno
To be fair, the idea of a turret guarding a baby's room isn't the most far-out, novel idea in the world, and it shouldn't be surprising that two different groups thought of it as a joke.

Aubrey McFate
And to be fairer, Valve did a better version. And VG Cats sucks hard.

Caminante Nocturno
That is true.