Rise of the Planet of the Apes: Trailer

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Comment count is 26

Zarathustra00

- 2011-04-16

So all it took was a drug that could makes apes smart enough to use tools and suddenly mankind was fucked. Yeah...

SolRo

- 2011-04-16

Well, most great apes are several times stronger than a human...not too far fetched they'd kick our asses if they are smart enough.

And our modern armies have shown that they don't do well against gorilla forces.

Thank you! I'll be here all week! Try the fish and tip your waitress!

The McK

- 2011-04-16

I thought they might not have packed quite as many cliches as possible into the trailer, and then the ape jumped at the helicopter just before it cut to the title.

Poor James Franco, he was doing, uh, well? Is there an Alan Smithee for actors?

Phil

- 2011-04-16

James Franco is playing an elaborate joke on everyone with his career.

kingarthur - 2011-04-17

OK, I feel better. I thought I was the only one who thought that about James Franco.

IrishWhiskey - 2011-04-16

I'd always assumed that mankind wiped itself out, or there was a big natural disaster, and then apes arose in the vacuum humans had left.

Then again, the idea that this is an alternate Earth populated by billions of apes with zoos in every city and town, is still less ridiculous than the ending of the last 'Apes' movie.

Dinanukht - 2011-04-16

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Conquest_of_the_Planet_of_the_Apes

A disease kills all the world's cats and dogs, leaving humans with no pets. So they begin keeping monkeys and apes as pets and train them to be super smart. But they are led in rebellion against the humans by the son of two chimpanzees who traveled back in time to the 1970's.

That's what *really* happened. Don't fuck with the timeline, Hollywood!

Robin Kestrel

- 2011-04-17

"Conquest of the Planet of the Apes implies that Caesar started the Ape rebellion; however, this is a temporal paradox, as Caesar is the child of two of the talking apes from the 40th-century future, a future that resulted from the Ape rebellion. Specifically, Caesar's existence creates a predestination paradox and an ontological paradox."

I think they just took out the time travel aspect so they could release it in China.

namtar - 2011-04-17

I think it was even said that the two apes from the future brought back the disease that killed all the cats and dogs.

So it was sort of like The Terminator, but with talking apes.

kingarthur

- 2011-04-16

This may very well suck, but I'm willing to check it out.

CharlesSmith

- 2011-04-16

It's your fault they make stuff like this.

chairsforcheap

- 2011-04-16

dude are you kidding me?

fatatty

- 2011-04-16

It's more my fault. I will enthusiastically watch a movie about super smart apes ransacking humanity.

I'm sure a movie about apes naturally evolving into a dominant intelligent species over millions of years would have been a lot of fun though.

garcet71283 - 2011-04-16

I will see it with the hope that they are doing a reboot that isn't that Tim Burton crap.

Kilo147 - 2011-04-16

APERAHAM LINCOLN!

StanleyPain

- 2011-04-16

I'm no huge fan of the original Apes movies, but it's clearly, CLEARLY established in the other movies that the apes evolved into the dominant species naturally after humans destroyed each other in war thousands of years previous. After all these years the best they could fucking come up with is "SEKRIT GOVERMENT PROJECT MAKES SUPER SMART APES WHO *KILL PEOPLES!!!* OMG!"
The Weta effects are pretty impressive, but I actually thought the gorilla suits in the garbage Tim Burton version were phenomenal, effects-wise.

memedumpster

- 2011-04-16

Humans, as a species, need to stop making movies. I now see movies as detrimental to our possible continued existence. Like nuclear energy it could have been used for good, but noooo, Hollywood wants to destroy everything with them instead, so no, take them away.

Jet Bin Fever

- 2011-04-18

I agree. But, without our bullshit movies and pop culture, what will we export to other countries? Fast food?

Chalkdust

- 2011-06-10

so what you are proposing is a world where apes write/produce/direct?

hammsangwich

- 2011-04-16

Still waiting for Marky Mark and Tim Burton to finish the shitpile they started...

garcet71283 - 2011-04-16

Hopefully this movie means they wont

Scrotum H. Vainglorious

- 2011-04-16

5 for letting me know there's a magazine called SHAVE.

StanleyPain - 2011-04-16

THIS MONTH:
JAMES FRANCO "GOES APE" ABOUT THE NEW LINE OF GILLETTE PRODUCTS

DOES BRAUN STILL HAVE THE POWER? WE INVESTIGATE

IN THE SHOWER OR OUT? A SURVEY..AND THE RESULTS MAY SURPRISE YOU

65 THINGS GUYS SECRETLY WISH ABOUT THEIR RAZORS

chumbucket

- 2011-04-16

James FRANCO not James Franciscus

Nikon

- 2011-04-16

I think I'll stick with my dvd-rips of the original movies, thanks.

Sundry - 2011-04-17

But those look so oooold!

The special effects in this movie won't look dated for at least 3 more years!

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