So all it took was a drug that could makes apes smart enough to use tools and suddenly mankind was fucked. Yeah...
|The McK |
I thought they might not have packed quite as many cliches as possible into the trailer, and then the ape jumped at the helicopter just before it cut to the title.
Poor James Franco, he was doing, uh, well? Is there an Alan Smithee for actors?
OK, I feel better. I thought I was the only one who thought that about James Franco.
I'd always assumed that mankind wiped itself out, or there was a big natural disaster, and then apes arose in the vacuum humans had left.
Then again, the idea that this is an alternate Earth populated by billions of apes with zoos in every city and town, is still less ridiculous than the ending of the last 'Apes' movie.
A disease kills all the world's cats and dogs, leaving humans with no pets. So they begin keeping monkeys and apes as pets and train them to be super smart. But they are led in rebellion against the humans by the son of two chimpanzees who traveled back in time to the 1970's.
That's what *really* happened. Don't fuck with the timeline, Hollywood!
I think it was even said that the two apes from the future brought back the disease that killed all the cats and dogs.
So it was sort of like The Terminator, but with talking apes.
This may very well suck, but I'm willing to check it out.
I will see it with the hope that they are doing a reboot that isn't that Tim Burton crap.
I'm no huge fan of the original Apes movies, but it's clearly, CLEARLY established in the other movies that the apes evolved into the dominant species naturally after humans destroyed each other in war thousands of years previous. After all these years the best they could fucking come up with is "SEKRIT GOVERMENT PROJECT MAKES SUPER SMART APES WHO *KILL PEOPLES!!!* OMG!"
The Weta effects are pretty impressive, but I actually thought the gorilla suits in the garbage Tim Burton version were phenomenal, effects-wise.
Humans, as a species, need to stop making movies. I now see movies as detrimental to our possible continued existence. Like nuclear energy it could have been used for good, but noooo, Hollywood wants to destroy everything with them instead, so no, take them away.
Still waiting for Marky Mark and Tim Burton to finish the shitpile they started...
|Scrotum H. Vainglorious |
5 for letting me know there's a magazine called SHAVE.
JAMES FRANCO "GOES APE" ABOUT THE NEW LINE OF GILLETTE PRODUCTS
DOES BRAUN STILL HAVE THE POWER? WE INVESTIGATE
IN THE SHOWER OR OUT? A SURVEY..AND THE RESULTS MAY SURPRISE YOU
65 THINGS GUYS SECRETLY WISH ABOUT THEIR RAZORS
James FRANCO not James Franciscus
I think I'll stick with my dvd-rips of the original movies, thanks.
But those look so oooold!
The special effects in this movie won't look dated for at least 3 more years!
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