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That's one fine monkey glove. And, I've seen some monkey gloves in my time, believe me.
There should be a game show where you win if you come up with some horrible gig he won't do.
After Alvin and the Chipmunks: The Squeakel, I don't believe this is possible.
One could draw a parabolic graph that charts the amount of money required to keep dating 25-year-old actresses vs. age.
Did this man ever have hair?