Right, Newtie. Have you done a tally on the attack ads and rhetoric you orchestrated while in Congress? I'm sure you offered a similar courtesy to your opponents, right?
His policies are nuts enough, but he seems to be actually suffering some kind of mental breakdown if he's forgotten how politics works, especially the kind of politics he directed at other people.
This is the actual, official response from his campaign spokesman:
"The literati sent out their minions to do their bidding. Washington cannot tolerate threats from outsiders who might disrupt their comfortable world. The firefight started when the cowardly sensed weakness. They fired timidly at first, then the sheep not wanting to be dropped from the establishment's cocktail party invite list unloaded their entire clip, firing without taking aim their distortions and falsehoods. Now they are left exposed by their bylines and handles. But surely they had killed him off. This is the way it always worked. A lesser person could not have survived the first few minutes of the onslaught. But out of the billowing smoke and dust of tweets and trivia emerged Gingrich, once again ready to lead those who won't be intimated by the political elite and are ready to take on the challenges America faces.".
The campaign looked at that statement and thought: "Yup. That's exactly the level of sanity and humility that represents our candidate."
|Scrotum H. Vainglorious |
What an unprincipled fuckstain.
If this is the best the Republicans can dredge up I might... vote for Obama.
Chin up! There's always Santorum!
Obama isn't so bad once you take the Legislature from the Democrats. And there's no way they're getting that back anytime soon.
Now sir, normally your campaign wouldn't have much of a chance. You're a doughy smug ball of anti-charisma, known only for nasty campaign tactics, impeaching Clinton while cheating yourself, and failing as a Republican leader. But we think you can win if you focus on your strengths, like unlimited corporate campaign contributions, and write-off the state's you can't win, like Iowa, South Carolina, and Reality.
Pay no attention to the dickhead behind the curtain!
He's a love letter signed and dated "XOXOXOXO". Amen.
Actually, this strategy will probably work out well for him. Everyone will be too focused on this spectacularly stupid soundbite to pay any attention to whatever he said on Sunday.
It's kind of like when you're at a party and realize your socks are mismatched, so you draw attention away from them by dropping your pants and shitting on the floor.
PoE is like a party, and people who use "party" analogies are like the people at the party who use the word "party" as a verb.
This campaign is off to a swimming start.
Newt's dead in the water and it's pure ego that keeps him thinking he can run, let alone win. Good to see him losing so big and so bad.
|Jet Bin Fever |
I'm starting to understand why the Japanese have celebrity reaction shots to tell them how to appropriately respond to their insane news clips.
Geez, this guy.
|Rodents of Unusual Size |
Turns out republicans really want Obama to stay in the white house four more years.
This was a YEAR ago?
Fuck you Americans and your fucking elections.
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