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Desc:From an actual press release by Gingrich
Category:Humor, News & Politics
Tags:stephen colbert, colbert report, john lithgow, newt gingrich, overwritten
Submitted:Hammer Falls
Date:05/22/11
Views:1781
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Comment count is 21
Oscar Wildcat
Really, this kind of rant requires the full Shatner. Nothing less.
Meerkat
No, Lithgow pulled off a comic seriousness and over the top dramatics that Shatner would have been too busy mugging to get right.

Lithgow was the proper choice for this.

Or perhaps Donald Pleasance.

NewHeavenSalesman
yeah, this is also the correct choice considering Newt is a real life Dr. Lizardo.

cognitivedissonance
Shatner and Lithgow are both equally awesome, considering they both survived the Terror At 20,000 Feet.

FABIO
Comparing their 20,000 Feet performances, Lithgow is definitely the better choice for an insane screechy Republican.

jangbones
an actual, semi-serious presidential candidate released this statement

this is going to be one of the most entertaining primaries and campaigns in American history
Old_Zircon
I'm pretty excited for it.

Bootymarch
Does this speech have anything to do with anything?

Political Elite?

Challenges?

Newt, your most prominent moment in American politics was when you were spearheading impeachment charges against a president for not doing anything actually illegal, and subsequently being found to have been having a years-long affair.

FUCK YOU (this was great, though)
Pillager
The politics of personal destruction.

phalsebob
That release was written by a 14 year old with an alcoholic Republican dad, right?


Binro the Heretic
Or maybe Charlie Sheen?

IrishWhiskey
Charlie Sheen, Kanye West, Donald Trump, basically anyone who makes a living selling themselves and has started to believe their own bullshit and are spiraling into a self-sustaining vortex of narcissism and ego.

Knuckles
It really sort of makes sense. Gingrich wants the world to return to the 19th century, so he writes like a politician from the gilded age.
kingofthenothing
That's the thing with conservatives, though, they can't ever go back far enough. Give them the 19th century and they want the 17th. Give them the 17th and they want the Dark Ages. Give them the Dark Ages and it's not Dark enough. Give them caveman times and they bitch about fire being confusing and dangerous.

Sphinx
Fire and the wheel have a liberal bias

Oscar Wildcat
The jawbone of an ass, however, is distinctly conservative.

memedumpster
It's not my goddamned president. Understand, monkey boy?
boner
that was really fucking florid.
GravidWithHate
U! S! A! U! S! A! U! S! A!

This may be the only time I've ever been sure that was chanted ironically.
baleen
Newt really wishes he were a bad sci fi writer from the 70s.
StanleyPain
Why wish when he can be a bad sci-fi writer from the 90s?
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/1945_%28Gingrich_novel%29

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