Especially the OH NOES PLANETARY ALIGNMENTS segment of these asshats. Apparently planets do some kind of magic voodoo crap if they line up. Or something. Seems like astrology's rancid cock drizzled onto this particular conspiracy theory.
SolRo Planetary alignments cause very high and low tides, that allow the deep sea squid people to send agents onto land.
And we all know who the squid people are allies with!