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Desc:Stock footage never existed, nobody has ever done this in the history of cinema
Category:Classic Movies
Tags:Transformers, the island, Michael Bay, recycling, Nerd Rage
Submitted:WHO WANTS DESSERT
Date:07/05/11
Views:1442
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Comment count is 26
hammsangwich
żMichael Bay is a piece of shit director?
garcet71283
To be fair, he is ripping off his own direction.

dead_cat
He's an all-round piece of shit too!

fedex
kinda like that stephen king short story where the surgeon gets stuck on a desert island with a lot of morphine

CrimsonHyperSloth
And The Island is a plagiarism of an even older movie that MST3K covered at one point.

Do with that what you will.
dementomstie
So Transformers 3 is a remake of Parts: The Clonus Horror?

garcet71283
I'm glad that I am not alone in noticing this.

People look at me like I am crazy when I relate Parts and Michael Bay.

CrimsonHyperSloth
To be fair do you want to hear about Michael Bay's "parts"? Probably not.

Though I'll speculate it looks like a jumble of unintelligible pixels, explosions and held together by jump cuts.

memedumpster
That's one of the ones I haven't seen! I have to go find it right now...

RockBolt
The Island might have been worth it if he lifted the Parts exploding grandparents bit as well

memedumpster
And the Mike's mustache skit.

oddeye
Someone charged Dreamworks like 5 million for this.
dairyqueenlatifah
I enjoyed Transformers 3 and thought the cgi was fantastic, and that the chick was hot.

There, I said it.
moral sex
You said it, but can you ever take it back?

Toenails
Nobody was expecting Transformer 3 to be anywhere close to the definition of "good". So if you just go into the film expecting to be able to turn your brain off while giant robots punch each other in the dicks with explosions going off in the background, you have a pretty good chance of enjoying yourself.

Unfortunately, somebody thought that explosions and dick punching should take a backseat to a human-only storyline that was so unimportant that the only thing I remember about it was that this movie hardly had any Transformers in it at all.

Still though, I'm not going to fault someone for liking a bad movie. If I liked it I wouldn't be embarrassed to tell others that I did. Especially here on poeTV, where it's common to praise particularly terrible movies.

FABIO
Rambo 4 was an enjoyable, unapologetic action movie.

Transformers is an incoherent minstrel show paint mixer stabbing you in the brain for 2 hours.

Even worse than being a bad dumb movie, it's sickening conservative right jerk off porn. Not even in the harmless Death Wish kind of way, but it promotes the exact attitude and line of action that's been ruining the country for the past decade.

This movie is so bad it RUINS REAL LIFE.

chumbucket
I for one loved Hudson Hawk

StanleyPain
The whole, ridiculous "train axles spilling onto the freeway" scene is the only thing remotely worth watching The Island for.

Well..that and Scarlet Johannson in a skin tight outfit.
FreeOJ
You see one Michael Bay movie you have seen them all
BHWW
I loved the reaction from some nerds around the internet about this clip that could be summed up as "Ah ha, he's been exposed now! Surely this will be the torpedo that sinks his career."

Coming in 2016: Bad Boys 3: Meet the Transformers
poorwill
So Michael Bay is the successor to Roger Corman? Ok.
Innocent Bystander
At least they save on the car budget.
ez
It's all random cut shots of shit moving fast and blowing up - what the fuck does it matter?

Mother_Puncher
I actually like some of Bay's movies. Bad Boys 2 is one of the most over-the-top cop movies ever made. The Island is ridiculous in the chase scenes. The Transformers movies are just awful. I could never tell what the fuck was going on, who were the good guys and who were the bad guys, the really forced plot and the fact the whole movie was about the boring, pointless characters being caught up in it more than it was about the actual Transformers. Bad Boys 2 was also hilarious in how absurd it was and it was very likeable. Transformers is absurb in how unlikeable the characters and plot is (aside from the dad who played in Small Soldiers which was my favorite movie as a kid next to Gremlins)
Robin Kestrel
This is not what "stock footage" means. This is called "fraud".
Riskbreaker
Whoever paid to see Transformers 3 can't complaint about this.
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