I will treat you with courtesy and respect, but don't you dare talk to me.

Some context would make this even more delicious.

Be sure to read the whole youtube description.

I don't know why, but I find this absolutely hilarious.

Context: January 2005 (?), 1st staff meeting after holidays. The manager is a gigantic coke-addled woman; a 'closer'. The employee hates his job (which he has because he can't speak French) and brings a tape recorder to work on a regular basis.
The company is selling "government regulated" first aid kits, and thermal paper rolls for p.o.s. terminals. Around one year later, montreal police raid several telemarketing operations in the city, making 130 arrests. See this clip: http://youtu.be/SHlwK5rbjtU

There is no can of cat food from the bottom of any garbage can that would leave a worst taste in your mouth than working for this person.

I like her "professional" style.

More money == Better than

Worked at call-centers, got paid less, this hits home. Fuck humanity!

Sure, I alienated my whole family and my profession is universally reviled, but I drive a luxury SUV.

Wow she threw the switch on that one. I actually bailed on the vid about 5 minutes through, but revisiting was a good idea.

Amazing.

That was the Alec Baldwin speech from Glengarry Glen Ross. It's almost uncanny.

I love how she makes the assumption that people working 'harder' jobs are making less.

I work for a major beverage distributor as a 'builder/loader'. I build pallets that ships out to our local area businesses. I make about /hour for stacking shit onto a pallet and then wrapping it with plastic.

These people are paid .50/hour for sitting around and trying to hock shit onto unsuspecting people, all while being yelled at by an incoherent bitch that seems like she has a severe case of bi-polar syndrome.

I feel better about my job all the time. At least it's honest, and at least the bosses are nice. It's still a labor job, but the job is the worst part about it, not the management, usually. There is something satisfying about good old fashioned labor, that I think a lot of people don't respect anymore. A little hard physical work is very satisfying at the end of the day. Honest hard work, and I make almost double what these poor shmucks make.

When I worked at AOL we basically had to listen to a speech similar to this almost once a day, only it wasn't being delivered by a supervisor or some division coach...it was always some cubicle employee guy who was so wrapped up in the bullshit of promoting his own department's stats and shit that he/she would go off the walls during meetings and go into this bullshit speech every time.

And this is why I am in production.

The dark grey market thrives in Montreal. In the prohibition era, it was a haven for all things sinful and therefore 'organized'. It is also a port town, and a massive immigration centre for french-speaking folk from around the world (read 'poor and half-assedly colonized' as in North Africa, Haiti, etc. etc.).
This particular establishment was a write-off/laundering operation for Greek Mafioso operating in the Park Ex neighbourhood. On the same little island you've also got the Irish mob out in Point St. Charles, and of course, the Hell's Angels who are indistinguishable from civic representatives by now, and so on and so fourth.
Since the ousting of Scottish/Anglo bankers & business back in the 50's and 60's and re-frenchification courtesy of Trudeau, Quebec has institutionalized a two tier system in which the 'pur laine' (literally 'dyed in the wool' or 'pure blood') have real jobs, while everyone else works menial labour and oils the machinery of the Quebecoise economy with their sweat (which is already thoroughly lubed up with copious amounts Federal Transfer Credits from the rest of Canada.).
The worst part is, Montreal is the most reasonable part of Quebec. From what I can tell, the outlying province is populated with cyclopean trogs in plaid jackets with gravy stains on their faces playing wooden spoon on their knees and receiving government art grants to promote their retrograde and backwoods cultural identity.
Can't say enough awful things about Quebec anyway.

I worked a total of three days for a telemarketing firm before I left without having closed a single sale. Just not cut out for the work. Still a memorable experience though. We had a sales manager like this lady, who kept saying we were awesome, had potential, etc. and then would scream at us for not making sales. Another fellow was very skilled at imitating voices and often flirted with men on the phone pretending to be a woman to make more sales.

Two months after I quit, the police raided the place and arrested the higher ups for illegal sales practices. I was slightly surprised, but sorry I missed seeing them being shoved into police cars.

When I was a young Old People, I worked at one of these places in California for a summer, essentially scamming the elderly and feebleminded into buying some kind of bullshit phone plan. My manager was a cocaine man named Tony who had a greasy mullet and drove a filthy Camaro convertible whose top was broken and wouldn't close. Whenever he sensed that one of us was about to close, he'd start yelling "GO FOR THE SALE, BRO" in our ear, making the sale much more difficult. The pay was terrible and my co-workers were a collection of Ralph Steadman drawings.
Now I stomp around Third-World shitholes carrying a gun and yelling at poor people, and I feel a lot better about myself.