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Desc:'the confidence to cook like a chef in your own home.'
Category:Arts
Tags:Chef, eggs, Cook, omelet, striped
Submitted:Enjoy
Date:08/31/11
Views:1329
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Comment count is 40
Redford - 2011-08-31
I personally have a hard time taking food critics who eat everything with a knife and fork seriously.
THA SUGAH RAIN - 2011-08-31
Youre trolling, right? Who the fuck eats an omelet, or even this thing, with their hands? MMM butter and egg all over my hands, delicious!

Hooker - 2011-08-31
There is this show on Food TV which is like every other horrible people-make-food-for-assholes-to-complain-about, except it's exclusively about cupcakes, and the judges eat the cupcakes with a knife and a fork and then complain about them. It blows my fucking mind.

Redford - 2011-08-31
On 24 hour restaurant battle, one of the restaurants created was a deli. Among other things there were some sandwiches. Certainly it would be a kind you'd sort of expect to find in a place which calls itself a "Deli". The food critics proceeded to eat the sandwiches using a knife and fork and then complained that they weren't complex enough.

charmlessman - 2011-08-31
... if your own home had all this crazy shit.
The Mothership - 2011-08-31
Recipe from the bestselling 'Cooking for the Empress Theodora: How to Make the Simplest Dishes With Byzantine Complexity & Imperial Pomposity', in stores now.
freedoom - 2011-08-31
That's not a fucking omelet. a crepe thin egg wrapped around a filling is not an omelet. an omelet has the filling cooked into the eggs while they are still runny. I bet this tastes like crap just like it looks like crap. seriously, fuck this guy. i guess it's 5 stars because he's spreading misconceptions about omelets and that is evil.

My omelet recipe:
3 Large Eggs
milk
Paprika
fresh chopped garlic, 1 clove
Salt
Pepper
Filling including peppers, onions, mushrooms, ham, sausage, whatever you like in your omelet.

Beat the three eggs in a bowl, adding a splash of milk. Add a bit of paprika, salt and pepper to the mix.

Heat your pan to high, adding a bit of oil and the garlic. Cook the vegetables and reduce your heat to med-low.

Add your egg mixture. then take a funnel and stick it up your ass. pour the now partialy cooked mixture up your god damned ass hole you stupid fucking internet "chef" poser dick.
kwash - 2011-08-31
This makes a mean goddamned omelet.

Riskbreaker - 2011-08-31
Seriously, the fuck was this thing suppose to be?

cool water sandwich - 2011-08-31
More of a fold the omelette over guy myself, but this pretentious foodle is making greasy looking shit that I'd expect to find in the chiller cabinet of a slightly upmarket 24/7.

Jet Bin Fever - 2011-08-31
My only recommendation is that you use smoked paprika in the place of the paprika, because its just so fucking amazingly good.

freedoom - 2011-08-31
I usually do use smoked paprika but you don't find smoked paprika in a lot of kitchens.

TheOtherCapnS - 2011-08-31
Your omelet recipe has no butter and therefore sucks ass.

kwash - 2011-09-02
Did everybody just miss the part where you put the omelet up your ass?

THA SUGAH RAIN - 2011-08-31
What did he fill that thing with? Egg foam and the turd looking stuff? And even the most pretentious dick is not rolling out of bed to make this egg crepe thing. Even i was trying to impress a girl, this would only give the wrong kind of impression
Pompoulus - 2011-08-31
Just take your striped meat pastry and go.
boner - 2011-08-31
You should see the "El Bulli" documentary, the chefs get all excited when one of them invents a cocktail of water with oil floating on top.
Racketeer - 2011-08-31
This is going to be a bit long.

This recipe comes from a 2,400 page, six volume, 5 book called Modernist Cuisine, written by a former Microsoft executive with a big research lab that he uses to follow his many and varied personal interests to a degree only afforded to multimillionaires. The book is a treatise on the science of food and cooking, and is the product of years of meticulous research by dozens of scientists. Here's an article on Wired about the book: http://www.wired.com/magazine/2011/02/ff_myhrvold/all/1

A lot of the book deals with molecular gastronomy, which basically means consciously using physics and chemistry during cooking. That's a vast oversimplification, but using it you can get all kinds of strange and wonderful foods. That's where the nitrous oxide comes in; molecular gastronomy loves making foams. Cooks who use molecular gastronomy also use a lot of liquid nitrogen and gelling agents and all sorts of other things.

This all adds up to what looks like putting an unreasonable amount of effort into something that shouldn't really be that hard to make. But you're not really making something that you can eat every day, you're making at home what once was only available to patrons of very high-end, very cutting-edge restaurants, places that take years to get reservations for and are regarded as the very best restaurants in the world.



It's still pretentious as hell, though.
Cena_mark - 2011-08-31
Omelettes are meant to be simple. This is the most metrosexual omelette I've seen.

Robin Kestrel - 2011-08-31
If I ordered an omelet and got this stripey foam-filled thing, I'd be pissed as hell.

Oscar Wildcat - 2011-09-01
One gets the impression that people who enjoy this sort of thing also like having sex with a micrometer and a stopwatch. "Lick the clitorus for 55 seconds in an upward brushing action, with a stroke length of .254" inches..."

notascientist - 2011-09-01
They eat like Stanley Kubrick makes movies.

hammsangwich - 2011-08-31
Goddamn, a short order cook at Denny's can make a better goddamn omelet than this. If I'm not sweating and having herat palpitations after eating it, it wasn't worth my time.
kamlem - 2011-08-31
"the confidence to cook like a Chet in your own home."
TheOtherCapnS - 2011-08-31
If a video of someone demonstrating MG techniques fills you with some sort of anti-elitist rage, you're a fucking dope. No one is saying this is a replacement for a traditional omelet, this is the recipe from Modernist Cuisine, and it looks fucking delicious.
threads - 2011-08-31
Agreed. No one is attempting to say, "This is how you make an omelet." This is simply an idea on how to make an omelet culled from a recipe that was culled from a recipe that some dude in Spain probably figured out. Modernist Cuisine isn't supposed replace the shit laid out by Escoffier, it's more like taking those codified ideals on food preparation and figuring out the science of them, and how said science can transmute them in to something new.

THA SUGAH RAIN - 2011-08-31
None of that matters. This just looks like a shit way to make an item of food whether its called an omelet or not and the moonman assumption that everyone just has this stuff laying around the house makes it absurd.

Oscar Wildcat - 2011-09-01
Moreover; anyone wasting a perfectly good whippit to foam eggs deserves all the umbrage we can muster.


TheOtherCapnS - 2011-09-01
TSR: Yea except no one is assuming you have this stuff lying around the house, not even him. The recipe requires you to cut a circle out of a Silpat (a ~ silicon baking sheet) which would completely ruin it for other uses. So obviously this is just something for a very special occasion if you were to do it.

OW: People usually use CO2 for those, not N2O. Funny story: I once came upon a new hire passed out on the ground next to a whipped cream dispenser. He had tried to do a whippit and had asphyxiated himself. When he woke up, he did have a bit of a buzz tho, so good for him I guess. He got fired later that week for being a drunken druggie fuckup.

Comeuppance - 2011-09-01
Of all the things that you guys get laughably self-righteous about, cooking is my favorite.
I especially loved the reaction to Gordon Ramsay's scrambled eggs recipe video.
http://poetv.com/video.php?vid=57091

Making it even better is that the only person that has posted comments on both videos thus far is Robin Kestrel. Thus, it is an almost entirely different set of people condemning this variation on cooked eggs.

Five stars and favorited, you wonderful ridiculous faggots.
1394 - 2011-09-01
PoE has taught me to hate horrible cooking videos and Richard Kastle.


Seriously fuck Richard Kastle.

Riskbreaker - 2011-09-01
I like Gordon's recipe a lot, no idea why anyone would hate that. This thing on the other hand was just too silly.

Robin Kestrel - 2011-09-01
I'm not really pissed at these chefs, and I do appreciate the science that goes into these dishes. (The presentation in both cases, however, is quite silly and not at all appetizing, IMO).

What I really object to, though, is calling this an omelet (or omelette for non-U.S. folk), or Ramsey calling his hot mess "scrambled eggs". NO. NO, IT'S NOT, YOU PRETENTIOUS FOODIE DICKHEAD.

Okay, maybe I'm a little pissed at them.

Adham Nu'man - 2011-09-01
People who don't know how to spell omelette should stop complaining about what is and what isn't an omelette.
Enjoy - 2011-09-01
This isn't France

kingofthenothing - 2011-09-01
I giggled when he said "Farenheits."
minimalist - 2011-09-01
they are eggs

they have been scrambled and cooked

i do not know what doesn't qualify them as "scrambled eggs" exactly but maybe a dumb guy with strong opinions can help me??
minimalist - 2011-09-01
was supposed to be a reply to Robin Kestrel i clearly hit the "Reply" link for that thread, thanks shit site for shit people

Robin Kestrel - 2011-09-02
You mad, bro?

Banal Intercourse - 2011-09-03
"A traditional omelette really showcases the qualities of a good chef. With our version (little smile) we wanted to highlight..."

Seriously, even the chef knows this is "a thing" and not a real *thing*. How can you NOT love this? Also, I strongly suspect that the thing he made is goddamned delicious. If I had a million dollars I would spend it all in one night on hookers and blow leaving ,000 left over to hire him to make me this omelette the next morning.
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