Burnov

Also.

Billy the Poet
But he can't walk. That's what he's not able to do.

fedex
SHUT UP SHUT UP I CAN WALK I CAN SEE I CAN AUUGGGHHHH

oh god help me

fedex
of course it would

Senator_Unger
At the Vacation Bible School I went to at my grandparent's Presbyterian church in Norfolk, VA, the children ended up attacking the guy who was walking around the camp, acting like a Biblical tax collector. As he was fleeing, his coin purse was knocked loose and all his fake coins were grabbed by the children and used to purchase extra snacks that day. My point? Vacation Bible School isn't all that bad.

dead_cat
According to the crappy website for this, the Psalty character only has a real face when the actor is actually the one playing him. At events playing a pre-recorded soundtrack, it's just a costume with foam cartoon face and a pervert inside.

Abstract Fainter
On the other hand, congratulations on your very unusual cult.

VoilaIntruder
"Dear Consumer,

Unfortunately, our Hallmark brand 'Congratulations on your very unusual cult' greeting cards have been discontinued due to a lack of public interest. We apologize for any inconvenience and look forward to providing you even more eerily personalized messages in the very near future. In the meantime, try a Sir Hugs & Sings Animated Elephant Seal, the 3,000 kg plush Hug-A-Buddy that incessantly reminds its recipient of both your love for them and that the seal itself loves daily piles of fish and squids."

Cena_mark
Let the awfulness speak for itself.