how did it help exactly?

don't underestimate the value of entertainment

It helped by turning the room around that coffee cup. Such a selfless bird! Especially since coffee can kill birds horribly.

Like a cat dutifully keeping a sofa pinned down, so that it doesn't go flying out of the nearest window.

I was waiting for it to shit in the coffee.

I have one, he's not nearly as helpful...although admittedly I have never tried this

Monkeys are better until you serve them beer

I've had them, just make sure you pick a smart one with a good personality, and you have a high tolerance for high-pitched noise because they don't sing well but that doesn't stop them from doing it for hours at a time.

I prefer instant to real. All serious coffee drinkers do.

U.S. instant coffee is markedly inferior to freeze dried elsewhere. Try Nescafe Classico from the Latin section of a large grocery. Its not great, but its way better than the truly vile swill marketed by U.S. Nescafe. Recommended for hiking.