God bless your Southern innocence. Never learn the answer.

^^^

Yep.

You can make a salad from many common suburban weeds. Dandelions, clovers, chickweed... too bad most suburbanites poison them.

I figure these people are bored with their lives. They want nothing more for society to collapse so that their lives will become the action movies they dreamed they'd be. These people bought tons of food and ammo and bahgawd they want to use it.
They should have just joined the Coast Guard instead.

Not to get political, but the people who are upset with the system on the Right seem to be obsessed with catastrophe and living in the action movie of their dreams, where as the lefties are building community gardens in ghettos so that people know how to grow their own food when the agricultural system of liquidation finally collapses.

Not only is this a right vs. left thing, but also Urban vs Suburban. People in the suburbs lack the sense of community many urban communities have. They might live 10 yards from the next house over, but they might as well be a mile away. These are people who shop at wallmart and worship in the mega-church; surrounded by people yet so distant.

I think what they are really dying for, more than anything, is to dish out a big heaping plate of "I told you so"'s to any survivors that wander by their stock pile after the great disaster. Before they are killed and raided for their spoiled ranch dressing by the hungry mob.

I've sold some raised bed farms to conservative Christian groups who are preaching it along survivalist lines to their flock, but I think it's most likely just a tax write-off.

"They should have just joined the Coast Guard instead."

I see what you did there, my dear troll.

If he joined he'd be a natural store keeper.

Similarly, some of my friends are aware of the whole "doomsday prepper" movement and ridicule me for having a week's worth of drystuffs. I live in Oklahoma. A flood or a tornado can and will knock out infrastructure for a good week, easy. I was without electricity for four days, which is just long enough for all of your food to go bad even if you quickly pack it into a cooler. Now I keep about a dozen cans of meat, chili/soup, and vegetables, and suddenly I'm lumped in with these guys.

If an apocalypse happens, word will get out and these guys will be raided first. Guaranteed. If Fallout has taught me anything, stockpiles are targets, and it's best to put your points into sneak early on so you can nab everything that isn't nailed down and trade it for food.

I once helped a friend of mine clean out a house for an estate liquidator. The person who owned the place had built a shelter in his basement at some point during the Y2K scare.

Batteries of various sizes and voltages, a majority of them leaking acid. Gallon jugs of water with particles of sediment in the bottom (the guy filled them himself with household tap, since none of them were sealed). Packages of ramen soup bloated like balloons. Cans of food with a healthy tinge of rust on all of them.

Just so you know, this was in 2002/2003, giving you an idea of the very brief shelf life of food and supply stockpiles. Then again, the basement itself wasn't very well maintained either.

5 stars for everything right here.

I agree.

Oh christ, yes

What I learned from Fallout is to drink water from the toilet to restore your health. It will get you irradiated but that seems to be only a minor annoyance rather than a real threat in our post-apcalyptic future.

For all this.

Expiration dates are insidious tools of the New World Order, rookie mistake.

Speaking of the Obamapocalypse, I find it both amusing and despair-inducing to see all the right-wingers buying up guns and ammo 'cuz they a-feared that Obama-secret-muslim-socialist-nazi is a-fixin' to cum 'n' take 'way all their bang-bang shootin' irons if'n he cheats 'n' steals the 2012 'lection.

You know, just like he did in 2008, like all the Fox News idiots told them he would.

If someone falls for the same bullshit after that short amount of time, they really shouldn't be allowed to drive or operate power tools.

What I am scared about is if Obama wins the electoral college and loses the popular vote.....some shit might get started by these maniacs.

They'd also be learning to forage. These types never seem to take an interest in finding out which things that grow naturally or are often planted in their area are good to eat, and which ones aren't.

A real prepper would build his own sanitary bug farms in the basement. Mealworms, crickets, and beetles are extremely easy to keep and breed, and contain a great deal of protein and essential nutrients. Plus they won't go bad, and the perpnuts can spend their free time (while waiting for the end of the world) learning how to cook their buggy crops in ways that won't make them retch.

prepnuts. That was supposed to be prepnuts.

"They died as they lived: surrounded by enough sodium and preservatives to keep their bodies from decaying well into the next age. Who were these great beings? Were they worshiped as gods? And what is the significance of this puzzling "WAL-MART"?

Suburbanites will be the first to bite it when the shit hits the fan.

Much love for the conceit of someone peacefully tending a garden during some sort of crazy apocalypse.

Because the idea of a world without twinkies is far more scary than the idea of chaos, disaster and the death of millions.

Ancient canned goods were good enough for the people of Waterworld.

Dude, I run a small grocery store, keeping track of expiration dates is the most tedious part of my job. The worst part is that it's always exactly the shit you KNOW will be unsold but are just there because if you didn't sell it you couldn't accept food stamps for Red Bull.

Wow, that's really depressing.

take them

you won't even have to steal them. The owners will be long-dead from botulism.