Another Eurovision, another year off Hooker's life. It seems like just yesterday that a bearded lady was exposing Russia to be the cesspool it is.

It really seems like the last one was 5 or 6 months ago tops.

Bearded ladies always make time fly. Along with Finnish punk geezers.

(speaking of Eurovision, what's the deal this year? I was skimming through some of the playlists, and my God, it's even blander than it was last year. So far PKN is the only band that's even remotely interesting, for good reasons or bad.

Have you guys noticed any stand-outs so far?)

Punx not ded!

It's hard to kill a genre that pretty much anyone can master with only a week's worth of practice.

After going through the list I'd say Finland, Spain, Denmark, Estonia, Belarus, Italy, Latvia, and Georgia were the stand outs this year. Moldova, England, and Russia are notably horrible but the rest are meandering ballads.

Yeah, Denmark stood out. They look and sound like they're prepping for an iPhone commercial. I'd say it's neither "good" nor "so-bad-it's-good", but it's not a generic ballad, so this year I guess we have to take what we get. Estonia sounded like it might have been good, but it didn't go anywhere and I have a hard time finishing the song. Germany started off really interesting, too - sounded like a Dido/ Morcheeba song, but it falls apart by the chorus. Macedonia has a really cool music video, and Latvia might have been the least disappointing overall, not that this is saying much.

I have to dispute your assessment of England, however. England is awesome. I would be happy if the final came down to England vs Finland. (which is surprising, because the UK has been producing the worst bands almost every year)

Boggie, the stupid hipsters from Hungary, were notably bad, but I think my votes for Most Enjoyably Awful of the Year goes to that N*Sync / Theon Greyjoy/ Devil May Cry dude from Moldova.

It's too bad, since Moldova tends to produce good songs and is usually one of my favorite countries, but if they can't be the best then at least they have the basic fucking courtesy to be the worst.

Same goes for Hungary, too. They had THE best song in 2014, now one the lamest in 2015. Eastern Europe knows: you do not compromise. You go boldly, or not at all.

Completely agree with you about Germany, it was a good song but her live performance fell apart. What I didn't like about England is how paint Eurovision by the numbers it was; female-male duet, quirky lyrics, and a violin hook. It's like the ran the numbers by a computer and the program tolled them how to win EV '10.

It's bad, but not as embarrassing as Belgium entire.

>> It's like the ran the numbers by a computer and the program tolled them how to win EV '10.


... actually, that would make a lot of sense! EV 2010 was one of the best years overall, yet one of the worst years for the UK. In fact, UK's 2010 entry is the song that always springs first to my mind whenever I think about the UK and how crap it is at Eurovision. You know above, When I said the UK produces some of the worst bands every year? When I wrote that, in my mind's eye I was seeing Josh Dubovie's big stupid face.

Seriously, Josh was awful. So awful, in fact, that he would fit in just fine with all the other pop-ballad crap going down this year.

But UK 2015, these guys know how to party! Electro Velvet would have been great going up alongside Epic Sax Guy, Alyosha, Icelandic Gay Anthem Lady, and Nena. So, this is a longshot, but maybe, just MAYBE, what happened was that the UK *meant* to send Josh in 2015 and Electro in 2010, but the Ministry of Eurovision Planning gave the orders to, I dunno, Mr Bean or Karl Pilkington, and they bungled it all up. Earmarked Josh for 2010 and Jazz Rednex for 2015.

My boss at my first job was from Finland, it sound like a pretty intense place. I think back then it was ahead of Iceland for highest rate of alcoholism in Europe, but it may have been AA membership, I forget which. Or possibly suicide. It's been a long time. At any rate it was some variety of side effect of having like 4 months a year without sun.

I remember she posted a newspaper clipping on the wall that was about the Finnish police testing a kind of harpoon cannon that their squad cars could use during a high speed chase. The idea was that they could fire the tethered harpoon thing into the rear of the car they were chasing and then pump in tear gas to force them to pull over. It seems like it must have been some kind of satire but if it was they played their hand really close, and there were photos.

Well, judging by Australia's entrance this year, if you wait a bit, America will probably be eligible too.

No way, man. If the USA entries Eurovision we're doing it the most American way possible; CIA-capitalism-subterfuge!

Take these.

Back in the 90s it was probably a year before I realized that band wasn't called "Syndrome of a Down."

Amen to that.