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Comment count is 35
Bus_Aint_Comin - 2015-12-06

yeah the abrahamic religions have some crazy texts, we get it, thanks.

what is that, dutch? what an amazing language.


Bort - 2015-12-06

WE get it, sure. Not everyone does.

I thought it was German but spoken by drunk Austrians, but the YouTube description looks like Dutch I think.


bawbag - 2015-12-06

Yup, despite the dutch having had religious segregation (pillarisation) in the recent past, they are so secular in their actual daily beliefs and practices.

The only thing you cannot -ever- question in NL is 'Zwarte Piet's role in their modern society.


bawbag - 2015-12-06

that wasn't supposed to be a reply.


Anaxagoras - 2015-12-06

Jesus wept.


Binro the Heretic - 2015-12-06

If someone tried this in America, an angry redneck would straight-up kill them or at least violently assault them and many people would defend the redneck's actions.


EnochEmery - 2015-12-06

If you try this with American fundies you always get responses that translate to "it's a metaphor except when it's not" or "words only mean what I want them to mean". Jesus never ever tells them they are wrong.


Ocyrus - 2015-12-08

Stand by, I want to put that to the test. I think I might troll some folks out shopping this weekend. I should probably put my concealed carry permit to use.


chumbucket - 2015-12-06

Have haw haw crazy intervid gagz!


jimmyboblahey - 2015-12-06

"Yeah, but that's the Talmud. It's different if you're white."
Thanks for the specification, Schlamoichel.


jimmyboblahey - 2015-12-06

Quotes from The Jewish Talmud:
Gentile: A Non Jew
Goy= "Cattle" aka Goyim
Referring to Non-Jews
Quotes: From the Talmud
1-
If a Jew finds a Object Lost by: A Goy it does Not Have to be Returned [BABA MAZIA 24a]
2-
"If a Goy hits a Jew, He Must be Killed
[Sanhedrin 58b]
3-
If a Jew Kills a Goy There Will be No Death Penalty. [Sanhedrin 57a]
4-
'What a Jew Steals from a Goy,He must Keep
[Sanhedrin 57a]
5-
'All Children of the Goyim Are Animals
[Yebamoth 98a]
5-
'If You Eat with a Goy it's the same as eating with a Dog'
[Yebamoth 98a Tospoth,Jebamouth 84b]
6-
'The Gentiles are not Humans,They are Beasts'
[Baba Mezia 114b]
7-
'Even The Best of the Goyim Should be Killed'
[Soferim 15]
8-
'Do Not Save the Goyim in Danger of Death, Show NO Mercy to the Goyim'
[Hikkoth Akum X1]
9-
'Sexual Intercourse between the Goyim is Like Intercourse between Animals'
[Sanhedrin 74b]
10-
'When the Messiah Comes every Jew will have 2800 Slaves'
Simeon fol 56D
11-
'Extermination of the Christians is a Necessary Sacrifice'
[Zohar, Shemothj
12-
'Jehovah Created the non-Jew in human form so that the Jews would bot have to be an animal in human form,and condemned to serve the Jew day and night [Midrash Talpioth,p.225-L]
13-
'A Jew is Forbidden to drink from a glass of wine which a Gentile has touched,Because the touch has made the wine Unclean'
[Schulchan Aruch, Johre Deah, 122]
14-
''To Communicate anything to a Goy about religious relations would be equal to the Killing of ALL Jews,for if the Goyim knew what we teach about them,they would Kill us openly'' [Libbre David 37]
15-
''A Jew may do to a non-Jewess what he can do. He may treat her as he treats a piece of meat.'' [Hadarine,20,B; Schulchan Aruch, Choszen Hamiszpat 348]
16-
'A Jew may violate but not marry a non-Jewish girl' [Gad. Shas.2:2]
17-
"A"prayer" or "benediction" to be said by a Jewish man every day: "Thank God for not making me a Gentile, a woman or a Slave." [Hilkkoth Akum X1]
18-
"A Jew should and must make a false oath when the Goyim asks if our books contain anything against them" [Szaaloth-Utszabot, The Book of Jore Dia 17]


SolRo - 2015-12-06

This is what Israelis actually believe!

(I wish I were exaggerating)


Miss Henson's 6th grade class - 2015-12-06

Oh, it's you again.


infinite zest - 2015-12-06

Jews are crazy, Muslims are crazy, Christians are crazy, Everybody Crazy! Do the Crazy Dance!


ashtar. - 2015-12-06

In our day the power which has replaced that of the rulers who were liberal is the power of Gold. Time was when Faith ruled. The idea of freedom is impossible of realization because no one knows how to use it with moderation. It is enough to hand over a people to self-government for a certain length of time for that people to be turned into a disorganized mob. From that moment on we get internecine strife which soon develops into battles between classes, in the midst of which States burn down and their importance is reduced to that of a heap of ashes. Whether a State exhausts itself in its own convulsions, whether its internal discord brings it under the power of external foes -- in any case it can be accounted irretrievably lost: it is in our power. The despotism of Capital, which is entirely in our hands, reaches out to it a straw that the State, willy-nilly, must take hold of: if not -- it goes to the bottom. Should anyone of a liberal mind say that such reflections as the above are immoral I would put the following questions: -- If every State has two foes and if in regard to the external foe it is allowed and not considered immoral to use every manner and art of conflict, as for example to keep the enemy in ignorance of plans of attack and defence, to attack him by night or in superior numbers, then in what way can the same means in regard to a worse foe, the destroyer of the structure of society and the commonweal, be called immoral and not permissible?


jimmyboblahey - 2015-12-06

wow, infinite zest thinks that religions are silly. what a hilarious and original thought. thumbs upped and subscribed and liked.


Ersatz - 2015-12-06

Yeah, but that's the Talmud. They're exegeses and interpretations, not divine law. It's more like the writings of St. Augustine, or to be generous, the Epistles, than the received Word of God, and less than even the hadiths. Were I Jewish, I could probably point out more problems with referencing those quotes.


jimmyboblahey - 2015-12-06

"Yeah, but that's the Talmud. It's different if you're white."
Thanks for the specification, Schlamoichel.


EnochEmery - 2015-12-06

I was wondering what GNAA was up to these days.


Cena_mark - 2015-12-06

What people really need to take from this is how most people actually get their morality from secular values and not their holy books.


SolRo - 2015-12-07

Except the orthodox/literalists


Bort - 2015-12-07

Even the orthodox/literalists have to do some picking and choosing, because scripture invariably contradicts itself.

Beyond that, while some parts of the Torah (such as Leviticus) list specific rules to follow, even more than that are stories and stories and stories that almost certainly require interpretation. Like how Lot's daughters got him drunk so they could fuck him: does that mean daughters are obligated to rape their fathers? That would be the most literal interpretation, but I don't think that was the point. How about cheating Esau out of his birthright for a bowl of lentils, was that being held up as an example of how to live?


SolRo - 2015-12-07

When presented with a passage telling them that they belong to the master race and can rape/murder/steal from/enslave the "animal" races, many orthodox jews tend to take it to heart.

Also they run a fascist country with nukes. So that's fun.


wtf japan - 2015-12-07

So does Russia, but you give them a pass for some reason.


SolRo - 2015-12-07

What's it like, being so stupid?


wtf japan - 2015-12-07

Probably better than it feels being an anti-Semitic crybaby hypocrite.


SolRo - 2015-12-07

Hating genocidal Orthodox Jews is antisemitic?

Glad to know you're pro genocide then!


jimmyboblahey - 2015-12-07

jews are allowed to be racist because russia is bad. thx wtf japan.


Adham Nu'man - 2015-12-11

The list of quotes provided by jimmyboblahey is a list that has been circulating on anti-semitic websites (such as stormfront) and is 90% mostly a collection of fake quotes from texts that do not exist (Libbre David?!? Gad?!?) and a couple of misquoted texts that were in any event taken out of context.

We're quoting Stormfront now, congrats!


gravelstudios - 2015-12-07

You wanna know what's sad? I would have recognized those bible verses immediately. I've been hearing preachers quote those verses at church for my entire life. Trust me, there are plenty of American Christians who know EXACTLY what the bible says, and are perfectly fine with taking it literally.


Old_Zircon - 2015-12-07

Shit, I've been in churches maybe 15 times in my life and I'd have recognized them.


Old_Zircon - 2015-12-07

Description is accurate, as a US citizen I was shocked to see the prankees accept the reveal with consideration and humor, not one of them even screamed, swore or physically attacked the guy or anything.


Obviously bork bork windmill land is full of gay communists.




-1 because it's still viral prank bullshit, even though it happens to be decent this time.


Sexy Duck Cop - 2015-12-07

It always amazes me when people are shocked to discover violence in the Bible, because a lot of this stuff is less than 100 pages in. If you're going to devote your life to one book, maybe you should read more than a Goosebump's book worth of it.


infinite zest - 2015-12-07

Yeah, it's like when we watched Braveheart in history class. The teacher just skipped the parts with violence and nudity, so that all we'd get was the historical parts.


urbanelf - 2015-12-08

WHAT? IT'S JUST A PRANK!!!


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