Oh come on now, it's not like he fucked them up the ass or anything nasty like that. Just a little Jesus juice and some fondling. You can't tell me that would harm a kid emotionally and physically can you?
And clipboards. So many clipboards. Dudes with clipboards, staring intently at it, then pointing at things. Groups of people staring at clipboards, then pointing at things. Groups of people comparing clipboards, then pointing at things.
And then Micheal Jackson, pointing at things while the real Michael Jackson hovers away in a box.
He flew it on his own time, I'm sure. Insurance company would shit a fucking kitten if anyone other than a Trained Jetpack Professional went out over the heads of an entire stadium full of people.