|Oscar Wildcat |
Dude, you're a plushy, and you always will be. Forget the human girls.
But hu-man girls have the perfect ratio of amino acids for powering his ion drive.
He can only do it in front of a torture device.
Who has a teddy bear these days? Remake it with an anime body pillow and maybe you'll get through to today's impressionable youth.
"Onii-chan, don't do it with her! I... I want to be onii-chan's first..."
"This doesn't feel right... because I'm gay."
PURITY BEAR WON'T LET YOU FEEL FEELINGS!!!
|Adham Nu'man |
SHE LOOKS CUDDLY THE BEAR LOOKS CUDDLY YOU WOULDN'T FUCK A BEAR WOULD YOU SO YOU SHOULDN'T FUCK HER BUT MARRY HER THEN YOU CAN FUCK HER JUST LIKE YOU WOULD A TEDDYBEAR.
Also, I really like the bear saying "No, don't do it!", then the cut to the guy's hand contrivedly stretching out from a clenched fist and then a close-up of the guy's piercing gaze and norman bates-like deranged smile. It gives the whole thing a very schizofreniac serial killer kind of vibe.
I also like the defeatist, that's-it-I-give-up tone of a "day" of purity.
FOR GOD'S SAKE
CAN YOU KIDS STOP FUCKING FOR JUST. ONE. DAY.
I can't believe I used to believe in that crap. I missed out on some good poon.
The nearest junior high school can't be that far away. The time to start living is NOW!
|Jet Bin Fever |
Hey, at least she's a freak that also likes roleplaying in wedding attire before fucking.
The last scene has the three of them in bed; the bear is smoking a cigarette and checking his watch.
|Corpus Delectable |
Oh, it's a parody. It's just not self-aware enough to realize it.
"Now this feels right."
Well, just wait until tonight, when it'll feel awkward and disappointing.
however silly, it seems like a good line for visiting family and inlaws.
Least cuddly teddy bear ever.
He also sounds pretty jaded. And drunk.
The new season of Greg the Bunny is shaping up to be a nice piece of satire.
PLEASE USE FRONT ENTRANCE
|Fur is Murder |
No, don't do it! She's intercepting your thoughts and sending them to the CIA! Burn down the house!
|Rodents of Unusual Size |
Did he have a gun pointed at his head while he was doing this?
|Old People |
She sighed and she squealed and she kicked the air!
Then she sang: My bear! My bear so fair!
And off they went into the summer air!
The bear, the bear,
And the maiden fair!
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