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Desc:No, it's not a parody.
Category:Religious
Tags:christians, abstinence, Day of Purity
Submitted:Pope Caius
Date:01/19/12
Views:2319
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Comment count is 30
Oscar Wildcat
Dude, you're a plushy, and you always will be. Forget the human girls.
OxygenThief
But hu-man girls have the perfect ratio of amino acids for powering his ion drive.

Hay Belly
He can only do it in front of a torture device.

deadpan
Who has a teddy bear these days? Remake it with an anime body pillow and maybe you'll get through to today's impressionable youth.
Caminante Nocturno
"Onii-chan, don't do it with her! I... I want to be onii-chan's first..."

charmlessman
"This doesn't feel right... because I'm gay."

PURITY BEAR WON'T LET YOU FEEL FEELINGS!!!
Adham Nu'man
SHE LOOKS CUDDLY THE BEAR LOOKS CUDDLY YOU WOULDN'T FUCK A BEAR WOULD YOU SO YOU SHOULDN'T FUCK HER BUT MARRY HER THEN YOU CAN FUCK HER JUST LIKE YOU WOULD A TEDDYBEAR.
Adham Nu'man
Also, I really like the bear saying "No, don't do it!", then the cut to the guy's hand contrivedly stretching out from a clenched fist and then a close-up of the guy's piercing gaze and norman bates-like deranged smile. It gives the whole thing a very schizofreniac serial killer kind of vibe.

deadpan
I also like the defeatist, that's-it-I-give-up tone of a "day" of purity.

FOR GOD'S SAKE

CAN YOU KIDS STOP FUCKING FOR JUST. ONE. DAY.

JESUS.
Cena_mark
I can't believe I used to believe in that crap. I missed out on some good poon.
Corpus Delectable
The nearest junior high school can't be that far away. The time to start living is NOW!

garcet71283
Thats what I love about High-school girls, I keep getting older and they stay the same age...yes they do....

Dirtchamber
Five stars for you, Corpus.

Jet Bin Fever
Hey, at least she's a freak that also likes roleplaying in wedding attire before fucking.
Oscar Wildcat
The last scene has the three of them in bed; the bear is smoking a cigarette and checking his watch.

Caminante Nocturno
"I have a cosplay fetish, and I won't have sex with you unless you dress up like a bride or like Sailor Moon. Whichever one you choose, I'm wearing a tuxedo."

Corpus Delectable
Oh, it's a parody. It's just not self-aware enough to realize it.
Xenocide
"Now this feels right."

Well, just wait until tonight, when it'll feel awkward and disappointing.
Robin Kestrel
As long as he can hang some bloody sheets from the bedroom window, it's all good.

mashedtater
however silly, it seems like a good line for visiting family and inlaws.
kennydra
Least cuddly teddy bear ever.
pastorofmuppets
seriously how did they manage to make a scary teddy bear

CJH
its the one from A.I., isn't it? and the last time we saw him he was hanging out with.... oh. it makes sense now.

Doomstein
He also sounds pretty jaded. And drunk.

TeenerTot
Blarg.
twinkieafternoon
The new season of Greg the Bunny is shaping up to be a nice piece of satire.
oswaldtheluckyrabbit
PLEASE USE FRONT ENTRANCE
Fur is Murder
No, don't do it! She's intercepting your thoughts and sending them to the CIA! Burn down the house!
Rodents of Unusual Size
Did he have a gun pointed at his head while he was doing this?
Old People
She sighed and she squealed and she kicked the air!
Then she sang: My bear! My bear so fair!
And off they went into the summer air!
The bear, the bear,
And the maiden fair!
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