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Desc:America's Crazy Grandpa, on top of the Illuminati!
Category:Educational, Religious
Tags:ernest borgnine, Freemasonry, vast conspiracies of old men in RVs
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Comment count is 16
cognitivedissonance - 2012-07-29
I've known so many Ernies in my relatively short time as a Freemason. They're all over the place. It's been the highlight of my life thus far. I can't wait to be one myself.
THA SUGAH RAIN - 2012-07-29
Really? Most of the guys I've met are just in it for the dinners and petty meaningless power struggles.

cognitivedissonance - 2012-07-29
I've not yet experienced the thrill of the petty meaningless power struggles. I've experienced the forty minute debate on real mashed potatoes vs. powdered.

BHWW - 2012-07-29
Don't you get it? The rank and file are not initated in the true mysteries of the Order, only the elite and privileged few who rise up the ranks! There, you get to learn all about the horrific secrets and see how the Masons have been a guiding hand of human history all the way back to Atlantis!

Or something like that. Because, well, you know conspira-kooks.

cognitivedissonance - 2012-07-29
My reptoid pituitary gland installation was painless and remains maintenance free.

dead_cat - 2012-07-30
I'm angry because the freemasons won't let an atheist join. I spent much of my teen years volunteering at the local Shriner's hospital, and I always wanted to be one when I grew up, BUUUUT NO.

dead_cat - 2012-07-30
Um, I mean I wanted to be a Shriner, and wear an awesome hat and drive a tiny car in a parade, and be privy to the horrible secrets of the masons, not that I wanted to be a hospital.

cognitivedissonance - 2012-07-30
Try the Shriners of Louisiana (who have no masonry requirement and are thus shunned by the Shrine as a whole) or consider adopting a classic Jeffersonian Deism.

dead_cat - 2012-07-30
"consider adopting a classic Jeffersonian Deism."

Thanks, but I'd always feel like I was lying if I did that, and that's no way to join an organization that you want to feel at home and have fun in.

(Not quite related, but I'm sort-of-considering starting some kind of a secular "secret society" of some sort -- mainly to just see how long it takes for it to become the subject of many hilarious paranoid conspiracies [what with the way nutjobs are about secret societies, and the way Americans in general are about atheists] -- but I haven't a clue how to even begin. Any suggestions?)

Kilo147 - 2012-12-25
Hell, how many of us are masons? I know that a good percentage of us are from the Pacific Northwest..

cognitivedissonance - 2012-12-25
Freemasons of POETV!

Chancho - 2012-07-29
I love Brother Borgnine. He is a great example of what Masonry should be.
baleen - 2012-07-29
So that's what all those buttons and switches in his bus did. He was controlling the banks!
cognitivedissonance - 2012-07-29
Was there any question?

Jet Bin Fever - 2012-07-30
If you were a beautiful woman I would marry you, baleen.

Rudy - 2012-07-30
Illustrious Brother Borgnine is a name just waiting for a shitty punk band to choose it.
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