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Desc:It's those darn feminists that made Christie the scandal-ridden bully he is, obviously.
Category:News & Politics, Crime
Tags:fox news, white people, Scandal, Chris Christie, George Washington Bridge
Submitted:SteamPoweredKleenex
Date:01/13/14
Views:1210
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Comment count is 24
Caminante Nocturno
Muscular? That's not muscle, that's fat.
SolRo
nah, it's a weighted fat suit like the martial arts guys wear in anime...he'll take it off when his democratic opponent evolves into a stronger form.

Xenocide
IT'S NO USE, X-MEN. NOTHING MOVES THE BLOB.

Sexy Duck Cop
Chris Christie is the saddest alpha male in human history.

wtf japan
Can we shorten alpha male to phamale?

takewithfood
OMG, Chris Christie is the Kingpin!

Sexy Duck Cop
It's really cute the media is pretending America will elect a fat person.
cognitivedissonance
Chris Christie! Remember, he's still the frontrunner for 2016!

I can't help but feel this whole thing is basically just an exasperation with Paul Ryan's inability to be anything other than a sneering baddie, 100% of the time. He'd absolutely steamroll his way into the White House if he didn't constantly and consistently remind us he'd punch a puppy just to make a point about why it's important to starve the poor. I mean, for God's sake man, have some pictures taken at a Dairy Queen with your children or something.

At least with Sarah Palin, she didn't pretend to like John McCain more than anybody else likes John McCain. John McCain was basically a method by which she could pay off her mortgage and catapult into a reality television series. We knew it, she knew it, everybody, up to and including John McCain knew it. Hence his sort of shrugging look of despair when he announced her as co-candidate. Not so for Paul Ryan, he actually believes the whole festspiel. Paul Ryan not only advertises that he would stab anybody beneath him without a second glance, but that he absolutely idolizes and slavishly fellates anybody above him on the pecking order, assuming they're not his self-declared ideological enemies.

As for Chris Christie, there's this whole thing where everybody that ISN'T a Republican likes him more than his own party, and at this point, Fox News isn't even hiding the fact that they won't give him the time of day even if he's flailing down a cliff, Charlie Chaplin style. And we'll get to 2016, and they'll all jump on the bandwagon, as they always do, proclaim him The True Hero Of Libertopia, and he'll lose, and be forgotten with the rest, a dessicated and moist pile of adipocere, which was once the prettiest whore at the Cattleman's Ball.

Hooker
Paul Ryan comes off as a spineless worm, so more like a pro-wrestling sneering baddie than an actual sneering baddie. You have to be hopelessly tied to the right to actually support him.

Kabbage
I can't believe a sentence has begun with "At least with Sarah Palin,"

Xenocide
Every time Brit Hume sees Chris Christie, he gets a powerful mental image of a sweaty, shirtless Marlboro Man. Some feminists want to shame Brit Hume for this, but he won't let them. Where have all the cowboys gone? Brit Hume knows.
cognitivedissonance
Well I can see now why they question the concept of global climate change. It's a feminized atmosphere, they say.
Binro the Heretic
I thought it was kind of sad how Ashburn almost got pissed off, but then remembered what she gets paid to do and agreed with Hume.
Leviathant
You can see her begin to protest, but she holds off while the producers are no doubt yelling in her ear. When she finally does talk, it's almost nonsensical.

memedumpster
Today he will be doing his state address, so brace yourselves, New Jerzhians, for Superstorm Fat Blubbering Bastard!
SolRo
He's so tough, feminine things can kill him!
Kabbage
God, that is the most apt summary of this malarkey

Oscar Wildcat
Girls are like fuckin' kryptonite, bro.

TeenerTot
NO, Brit! Answer! WTF does that mean??
Hooker
What happened to the old-fashioned man that didn't fucking whine and complain about everything?
takewithfood
Feminazis stole his ice cream.

Sexy Duck Cop
The foundation of modern conservatism is calling someone else a whiner for wanting basic human rights, then authoring a 75-page manifesto on how a three-cent Big Gulp tax is the end of liberty.

exy
If the "old-fashioned man's man" speaks his mind he might "sound" racist or sexist, but you see it's very different. He's just being an old-fashioned man's man. Back in old-fashioned times there weren't racist or sexist terms, only true or false ones. And no one can fault a man's man for speaking his mind. And since he's old-fashioned, he's wise and experienced, so he's probably speaking the truth. So when an old-fashioned man's man talks, it's impossible for him to say something racist or sexist, even though someone could very well say those same words (just not as an old-fashioned man's man) and it would indeed sound racist or sexist. I learned this in my psychopathic hermeneutics course.
That guy
'Old-Fashioned Tough Guys' = corrupt Republicans that Brit Hume likes

'Feminized Atmosphere' = sunlight
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