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Desc:Your kids can't eat pizza every night, so make them something COMPLETELY DIFFERENT
Category:Educational, Crime
Tags:food, pizza, expertvillage, howdini, stromboli
Submitted:fluffy
Date:08/01/14
Views:1461
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Comment count is 31
SolRo - 2014-08-01
Lady, that IS a vegetable, by school standards.
infinite zest - 2014-08-01
I heard that

baleen - 2014-08-01
The Midwest.
Bort - 2014-08-01
I recently learned that lentils stop tasting like hobo ass if you add lemon juice. Still not an exciting food, but nutritious.

That preload image looks like an infection.
infinite zest - 2014-08-01
I actually like eating the lentils from Trader Joes right out of the bag. I eat them like they were gogurt.

EvilHomer - 2014-08-01
It's funny you mention that; I was literally just at Trader Joes. I saw their lentils, and I was thinking of buying some... but then I remembered I'm not a sixty year-old hippie.

My dad used to eat that shit all the time. Lentil curries, for breakfast, lunch, and dinner. Sometimes he'd mix it up with chicken neck vindaloo, and mmm mmm, that sure was a treat after all that lentil hobo ass!

fluffy - 2014-08-01
Lentils are delicious and versatile, and also great for your carbon footprint (not so good for your methane footprint though if you know what I mean).

Bort - 2014-08-01
Lentilize me -- what are good lentil strategies? The other year I was heavily into lentils, but man, eventually the hobo ass flavor got the better of me.

As mentioned, lemon juice "fixes" lentils, but what else do you recommend?

SolRo - 2014-08-01
Trade Joes is yuppie paradise.

TheOtherCapnS - 2014-08-01
Onions and meat stock are your two best friends. Garlic, carrots, mushrooms, all of these will make it taste less like lentils and more like something that is delicious on its own.

TheOtherCapnS - 2014-08-01
Oh, and pork fat, esp bacon drippings. Any time you are making beans, lentils, etc, some pork fat will add a really good depth and satisfying flavor.

duck&cover - 2014-08-01
So how does everyone comparing lentils to hobo ass know that it's an accurate comparison?

fluffy - 2014-08-02
Lentils also make an excellent hummus (instead of chickpeas), and if you spread lentil hummus on flatbread and bake it you get a really excellent thing as a result. Maybe sprinkle some feta on top too.

Lentil soup is a classic as well, and you could certainly do worse.

Check out the Good Eats episode.

Also, red lentils make an amazing salad when tossed with celery, carrots, and a yogurt/dill dressing.

Bort - 2014-08-02
"So how does everyone comparing lentils to hobo ass know that it's an accurate comparison?"

Because if their asses tasted better than lentils, they wouldn't be hobos.

cognitivedissonance - 2014-08-02
You can make any vegetable, ANY VEGETABLE, into an awesome soup if you remember the holy triad of carrot-onion-celery. If you lose any one of the three, your soup will be bland and awful. It is the most fundamental, primary, dirt basic rule of cooking like a grown up.

And soak your damn lentils, y'savages. If you don't, you'll fart for days. If you don't want meat, you'll need to brown the carrot-onion-celery. Jesus, people. This is why Portal of Home Ec failed.

TeenerTot - 2014-08-03
I would spend ALL DAY on a Portal of Home Ec.

Bort - 2014-08-03
Me too -- I'm trying to improve my skills, as I'm finding myself cooking for numbers of people more and more often. Plus my Ninja 3-in-1 Cooker is opening up new cooking vistas for me, might as well learn to make good use of it. (Go get a Ninja 3-in-1 BTW, they rock.)

fluffy - 2014-08-03
okay fine I'm setting up a new site at schadenfood.org for us to talk about food and whatever

Bort - 2014-08-04
Damn, you didn't waste any time! I am now registered at schadenfood.org.

fluffy - 2014-08-04
yeah, I've had the domain for years, and phpBB and octopress are really easy to set up.

TeenerTot - 2014-08-04
I am so there.

Bort - 2015-07-29
Lentils, cheddar cheese sauce, and salsa. Holy fuckballs.

fluffy - 2015-07-29
so I moved schadenfood.org over to tumblr because trying to maintain a forum without it getting overrun by spammers was a pain in the ass and nobody wanted to submit articles probably because it was so fucking difficult. tumblr at least makes this shit easy to deal with.

Bort - 2015-08-05
Thanks fluffy! I'll follow ya there.

"One night I decided to see how dark a roux I could make."

Heh, "darkaroo" is my new favorite slur for blacks.

HarrietTubmanPI - 2014-08-01
A pillsbury recipe to shill pillsbury products. Is it just me or the last time I tried any sort of canned pillsbury dough it tasted like plastic. It's not the fact that it's in tube form, as there are alternative tube based doughs (that cost a little more) that actually taste excellent.
Hooker - 2014-08-01
MY KIDS WOULD EAT PIZZA EVERY DAY BUT IF I GAVE THEM THAT MUCH PIZZA I WOULD BE A BAD MOM, SO I BROUGHT IN A PIZZA COMPANY SPOKESPERSON TO TELL ME HOW TO MAKE SOMETHING OTHER THAN PIZZA. PIZZA WHORE, WHAT DO YOU SUGGEST?

HAVE YOU TRIED MAKING A CRAPPIER VARIATION OF A PIZZA?
The Mothership - 2014-08-01
Dude parental guilt is the hottest emerging natural resource to be mined and exploited.

badideasinaction - 2014-08-02
Don't worry, they've got another variation where you deep fry it, I'm sure.

Grandmaster Funk - 2014-08-02
When you're shilling a product, are you supposed to snicker in disgust when you introduce it?
Rodents of Unusual Size - 2014-08-03
Here is some more inspiration for you.

http://offbeat.topix.com/story/12253
Rodents of Unusual Size - 2014-08-03
and this

http://offbeat.topix.com/story/10186

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