|StanleyPain - 2014-11-16 |
I think the Marvel movies have their issues, but I think a pretty compelling case has been made that the DC film/TV universe is easily shitting the bed in a far more spectacular downward spiral between this, the Gotham TV show (which looks even worse than Smallville, which is a feat), and WBs plan to cram every facet of the DC universe down our throats for the next bajillion years.
Sexy Duck Cop
I hatewatch Gotham religiously because it's a remarkably hilarious metadrama if you frame it as the story of a writing staff that got in over their heads. They were offered the chance to write for the first post-Nolan Batman series and leapt at the offer, as any red-blooded American would, only to watch an evil mustache instantly grow on the producer's lips once they sign the contract.
"Behold!" he roared as he put on his top hat. "This isn't a Batman story at all! It's the story of all his boring side characters before they do anything interesting! Now tread water for the next three years!"
It's amazing. They literally wrote themselves into a corner before the first episode. And worse still, they chose to make all of Batman's primary antagonists middle-aged, so now we know he's been picking fights with 55 year-old men all these years. THANKS GOTHBAMA.
What DC needs is more evil robots singing Disney songs.
Actually, The Flash is pretty fun in an irony-free throwback kind of way. It doesn't try to be dark and gritty and is all the better for it. Meanwhile every other DC show is a big pile of grimdark tripe, and John Constantine has been sanitized to the point that the Keanu Reeves version almost looks good.
Also, if this post had been made on Gotham, it would end with me saying something like "These crappy TV shows make me want to put on a weird mask and destroy western society! They truly are the BANE of my existence!" And there'd be a dramatic musical sting right there.
Why shouldn't DC stick with its winning formula of retelling Superman's origin story ever two years, see him break someone's neck, and go on a rampage through Metropolis? That's what people want.
Oh, and more Batman with a voice that sounds like a 12-year-old trying to convince the theater worker they're over 18 so they can see a Rated-R movie.
ugh. I was thinking it might be more like a Teen Titans Go/Muppet Babies for adults, judging by the reviews. Sure the Titans sometimes use their powers to open pickle jars and rarely get into fights, but it's charming.
"They literally wrote themselves into a corner before the first episode."
They really did -- the Waynes just got murdered and already Gotham City is a mess that only Batman can fix. They should have gone with the theme of escalation from the movies, so when Jim Gordon blows into town Gotham is beset by street crime, but nothing organized. But as Jim starts doing something about random street crime, organized crime starts forming, and when Jim turns his eye their direction the Falcone empire starts to build on the remains of his rivals that Jim beats. That way, in 10-15 years, Bruce Wayne can come to town and be facing a system that Jim Gordon did his best with, but couldn't beat.
That said, I am enjoying the Penguin a lot, and I like how Alfred Pennyworth (Jon Pertwee's son!) is doing more harm than good to Bruce, which will explain so much in a decade or so. (And god damn, that kid who plays Bruce is good.)
Update nearly a year later: "Supergirl" is fantastic; three episodes in and they really seem to know what they're doing.
And how is it that they can portray Clark in a chat window better than the comics or movies have in years? (At present in the comics, Clark has lost most of his powers; he rides around on a motorcycle, in a t-shirt and jeans rather than his costume, punching policemen and other people he thinks deserves it. Also the world knows that Clark is Superman and people are inexplicably mad at Superman for having a day job.)
|SteamPoweredKleenex - 2014-11-16 |
If I remember correctly, Grodd was from a place called "Gorilla City," a high-tech domed city under a cloaking device in Antarctica where talking gorillas basically have a version of Atlantis. Grodd was either telepathic or had SUPER SCIENCE to let him do mind-control stuff, so he got kicked out.
I suppose making him a lab experiment gone wrong is a better solution for an already ridiculous TV show (it's mostly like watching some kind of Teen Superhero Science Squad), and Grodd really is one of the less silly members of the Flash's rogues gallery, so... I guess it was only a matter of time before he showed up.
That said, I did admire this show for making metahumans an actual concept so the Flash would have someone to fight. It's not just about showing off all the low-hanging fruit of the DCU, though I'm sure that's how they keep tempting viewers in week after week. It's a better solution than the abortive superhero shows of the past where you could swap the bad guys out with the ones from a random episode of Knight Rider and not have much change.
Where's my Aquaman starring Michael Phelps already, DC!?!!
Binro the Heretic
Yeah, this is closer to Monsieur Mallah's origin than Grodd's.
|Xenocide - 2014-11-16 |
If you think the idea of a superintelligent psychic gorilla who wants to conquer the world is anything but awesome, then you've failed as an interesting person. Go watch the NCIS marathon with the other dead grandmas at the Vanilla Whitebread Retirement Home. Then watch as I skateboard away and high-five Koolaid Man.
A second season is pretty much a lock. The Flash is getting the highest ratings in the history of its network.
Granted, that network is the CW, so that's like 17 people.
|Jet Bin Fever - 2014-11-22 |
Hahahahahahahahahahahaa!!! Oh man, I'm so glad I don't watch TV, other than poeTV of course.
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