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Desc:Chuck E. Cheese and gang's tribute to the USA in all its dead-eyed, jerky animatronic puppet glory.
Category:Business, Arts
Tags:pizza, chuck e. cheese, animatronics, patriotism, USA! USA! USA!
Submitted:Hugo Gorilla
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Comment count is 32
The Mothership - 2015-11-29
A lot of you kids these days don't remember what the 80s and 90s were like, you see. This was par for the course, and pretty run of the mill stuff. Chuck E Cheese was a place for parents of all races, creeds and classes to dump their kids in a pizza restaurant where they could play skeeball and arcade games and eat crappy pizza. It was the perfect melting pot of American immigrants and residents, so this sort of patriotism wasn't really out of place.
The Mothership - 2015-11-29
lowest common denominator is what I'm saying, and lord knows I loved it when I was a kid.

infinite zest - 2015-11-30
Yeah my generation had Discovery Zone which was like the bullshit Chuck E Cheese

Old_Zircon - 2015-11-30
I grew up in New England, our real Chuck E.Cheese was bullshit Chuck E. Cheese. It was like a Papa Ginos with skee ball. Years later I dated someone who grew up in Texas and I learned what a proper Chuck E. Cheese was like.

But we had candlepin so who needed Chuck E. Cheese? All the birthday parties I remember going to were pizza, bowling and Spy Hunter.

infinite zest - 2015-11-30
I remember going to a few birthday parties at Chuck E Cheese too; chances are Mothership and I went to the same one, and back in the 90s you did NOT want to be on that street. Ironically my girlfriend lives on that street now and it's becoming the new hip place, but I remember finding a syringe in the toilet that wouldn't flush. Like, how desperate are you that you shoot up at a Chuck E Cheese?

So we mostly went to this place called Bullwinkles, which besides Rocky and Bullwinkle had absolutely nothing to do with Rocky and Bullwinkle. They had Go Karts and batting cages and I think putt putt golf, as well as a whole arcade, but that was more of a summer birthday thing; since most of my friends' birthdays were in the rainy months we always went to Discovery Zone, which didn't have actual video games but educational shit that tricked you, and a health-conscious menu. My birthdays were at this place called Wunderland since it was right by my house; it's a nickel arcade and movie theatre and always smells like pee.

The Mothership - 2015-11-30
you talking about the Chuck E Cheese's out by I-205 and the Wunderland on Jantzen Beach?

infinite zest - 2015-11-30
Yeah the Chuck E Cheese on 82nd or so, but we went to the Wunderland on Belmont St. I also miss Games People Play.. I think it was 5 bucks for free play all day every day. Ground Control down by the old Elvis Church has it too once in a while but good luck getting in unless you get there right at 5, and leaving your machine to get a beer pretty much means that you lost your machine for the night. :(

Old_Zircon - 2015-12-01
"Like, how desperate are you that you shoot up at a Chuck E Cheese? "

Honestly, after working for a few years at a private library frequented by rich, ivy league students I don't factor desperation in to it much anymore. Some people just like to shoot up in public spaces even if they clearly have the money to do otherwise.

hammsangwich - 2015-12-02
The only problem I see with this is that Chuck E Cheese was called Showbiz where I lived in the 80s and 90s.

HarrietTubmanPI - 2015-11-29
I love people that think Born in the USA is a patriotic song. Or that 'America' from West Side Story is patriotic.

I didn't make it further than that.
infinite zest - 2015-11-30
Yeah Born in the USA and The National's Fake Empire (which Romney used) are two great examples of how nobody listens to songs.

Cena_mark - 2015-11-30
Fortunate Son is another one.

infinite zest - 2015-11-30
Oh yeah!! I never understood that one. Born in the USA I'll give some benefit of the doubt because you have to actually listen to the lyrics pretty closely to get the sarcasm, otherwise it was just a big "USA" anthem. Same with Fake Empire; The National's always been kind of cynical too, so using a term that Republicans liked to throw around anyway would make a bit of sense. But why would you pick a song like Fortunate Son? The first thing I associate that song with is Vietnam movies, and we all know how patriotic those all were, right? It'd be like playing KRS-One's Sound of the Police at a police commissioner's inauguration.

bawbag - 2015-11-30
'keep on rocking in the free world' and 'killing in the name of' seem to be chronically misunderstood by the same group.

StanleyPain - 2015-11-30
Don't forget This Land Is Your Land which is basically a kind of socialist anthem.

Old_Zircon - 2015-11-30
"playing KRS-One's Sound of the Police at a police commissioner's inauguration"

I want to see that.

animegurl1000 - 2015-11-30
The Guess Who's "American Woman" is another one. It's like most people only hear the "American woman" parts but not the other lyrics.

EvilHomer - 2015-11-30
Those are all perfectly patriotic songs. After all, what could be more American than sneering at America?

We're a revolutionary republic made up of iconoclasts and loudly-opinionated malcontents; it's what, for the last 240 years, has made our country so great! For buck's sake, Harriet, get over yourself and watch the animatronic mice do our country proud.

Jimmy Labatt - 2015-11-30
It just occurred to me that the people most likely to think a song with the verse "Sent me off to a foreign land to go and kill the yellow man" is patriotic are most likely Chuck E. Cheese regulars.

boner - 2015-12-01
I feel like John Lennon's Imagine is the mother of all subversive songs that get a free pass.

VoilaIntruder - 2015-11-29
Man they started to suck when they got sober in the early 90s
infinite zest - 2015-11-30
Yeah.. due to violence in the past I don't think you can get beer or wine at any Chuck E Cheese anymore. The kid me would love this, and the semi-wasted-but-still-responsible-parent-me would too, but fuck if I could last 20 minutes in one of these places without alcohol, like a kid without tokens.

infinite zest - 2015-11-30
Do they still have the animatronics at Chuck E Cheese? I saw a commercial not too long ago and Mr. E Cheese is a teenage skateboarder mouse or something now. With all your entertainment options these days a group of creepy "adult" robots seems a little bit unnecessary and probably not worth the upkeep, but it's still something I'd like to see again, especially on LSD.
bawbag - 2015-11-30
Apparently they still do at some locations.

RedRust - 2015-11-30
They have like 1 or 2 animatronic bots. Not the whole band. Also, no animated "flags". Skee Balls are made of solid plastic, rather than wood. Pizza has gone downhill. Tokens are .33 now. I just went there last week, it was depressing (especially now that the kids are teens). Oh, salad bar has no eggs due to the increase in egg prices. Chuck E Cheese looks modernized now as well.

infinite zest - 2015-11-30
Well, avoiding the salad bar would probably be for the best anyway; I don't think I could get near one with kids who might just reach in with ski-ball/bally pit hands and aren't tall enough to reach the sneeze guard.. eww..

Strange that it would be an older crowd now. The commercial I saw was sort of hitting that "extreme" demographic, but Chuck E Cheese was always like a Happy Meal to me. Yeah, I could go and get a Happy Meal right now if I wanted to, but why?

Kid Fenris - 2015-11-30
Born in the USA!
I went to school and got an A!
infinite zest - 2015-11-30
They had me make an ashtray out of clay..

atheistgirl - 2015-11-30
I'm...I'm scared.
Rodents of Unusual Size - 2015-11-30
I was forced to go there when I was six. I really didn't want to go. It was some kid's birthday party and I didn't really know him. Once I got there I wandered around with the rest of my first grade class just staring at the shit they had playing and didn't have any money for tickets. It was very weird to me even then.

Later, when I became more of the kid that you don't invite because he's poor and weird, I was at least grateful I didn't have to go to this place ever again.
Binro the Heretic - 2015-12-01
This actually does a good job of summing up the Republican mindset in the 1980s.

Be unquestioningly proud of America and don't mention any of the negative stuff.
TheSupafly - 2015-12-01
I was born early enough to see animatronics everywhere as a kid, even the roller rink, but late enough for none of them to work. Never got to see a single one move.
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