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Desc:Varg vlogs about the guy he murdered.
Category:Crime, Horror
Tags:black metal, Mayhem, varg vikernes, Euronymous, written by the victors
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Comment count is 25
Varg needs a drink of water. Pure, clear, Norse water.

Needs "mouth noises" tag.
"Uncle Jesse, tell us kinfolk bout the time you wents to Norway."

"Well, Beau and Luke, it was a cold place, like the heart of a Templar riding up to a peasant village..."

Is he sitting in a van?
Not sure if it's a van or truck, but yes. He often films in there, particularly when he's discussing politics or religion. (his study is reserved for Dungeons & Dragons and MYFAROG)

Looks like a hearse t me, look at the shape of the window (and the curtains). But it could also be a station wagon/Outback type of mini-SUV with hearse-like curtains I guess.

I think it's a Volkswagon Vanagon...

Born in the RSR
I was going to write some joke or try to think up something witty, but nah. Fuck this guy and his inane adolescent bullshit.

Just let him stay in the woods and hope he don't hurt no one no more.
I feel like Tom Waits's "I Don't Wanna Grow Up" should be playing softly in the background every time Varg does one of these. He's got the intellectual insight of a 13 year old racist in a gifted and talented class. His mindset is the perfect mark for shit like Objectivism, Libertarianism, and white supremacists. But, hey, the Norse penal system says he's reformed and at least he's not killing anyone, soooo...win?

RSR, you have to be in a real-life buddy road trip scenario with either Varg or Lars von Trier for a full month. Which one do you choose?

Born in the RSR
I'd go with Varg.

Scrotum H. Vainglorious
Cliffs please. Who is this guy and why should I care?
Varg is a musician from the 90s Norwegian Black Metal scene. He was in two extremely prominent black metal bands - Mayhem and Burzum - and is best known for his alleged involvement in the Norwegian church-burning craze, and for brutally murdering his fellow Mayhem bandmate, Euronymous (an event which most metalheads agree was the high-water-mark of Norwegian metal). He served a couple years in prison, got out on good behavior, and is now a vlogger and LARP aficionado.

It was basically gangsta rap drama, only for Scandinavian people.

This video is part of a series of videos he's doing, giving his side of the murder - which he maintains was self-defense and totally justified, on account of Euronymous being a complete psycho.

I'd like to add that, while I've heard Varg's side a couple times, and the official Norwegian justice system's views more than a couple, I've never really heard a good, rational case from the pro-Euronymous camp. I know there are people who, even to this day, support Euronymous (it usually breaks down by religion - Satanists side with Euronymous, Odinists side with Varg), but I've yet to encounter a point-by-point breakdown of their thoughts - beyond "if I ever see Varg, he's a dead man!" or something to that effect. The way Varg tells it, Euronymous had it coming; but of course, Varg himself is an unreliable narrator, and there's bound to be more to this story.

Basically, what I would like to see is a modern remake/reboot of Rashomon, only this time with Norwegian sociopaths.

Born in the RSR
It's not like they were shitty edgelodrs in their late teens or early 20s. They had "motives" and "points of view" maaaaaan!

FATAL ACQUAINTANCE sounds like a Life Time original movie.

Varg sounds like he is a Portlandia character.

"On 8 April 1991, Dead committed suicide while alone in the house. He was found by Euronymous with slit wrists and a shotgun wound to the head. Before calling the police, he went to a shop and bought a disposable camera with which he photographed the body, after re-arranging some items.[7][8][9] One of these photographs was later used as the cover of a bootleg live album: Dawn of the Black Hearts.[10] Necrobutcher recalls how Euronymous told him of the suicide:

Øystein called me up the next day ... and says, "Dead has done something really cool! He killed himself". I thought, have you lost it? What do you mean cool? He says, "Relax, I have photos of everything". I was in shock and grief. He was just thinking how to exploit it. So I told him, "OK. Don't even fucking call me before you destroy those pictures".[11]

Euronymous used Dead's suicide to foster Mayhem's 'evil' image and claimed Dead had killed himself because death metal had become 'trendy' and commercialized.[12] In time, rumors spread that Euronymous had made a stew with bits of Dead's brain and had made necklaces with bits of his skull.[13] The band later denied the former rumor, but confirmed that the latter was true."

Just in case people aren't familiar with just how unpleasant a character Euronymous was, even by early 90s Norwegian black metal standards.

For all of Varg's dumb ideas I've always been inclined to think he's probably a more reliable narrator than a bunch of edgelords who think the above was cool.

Also some of the crude, casio keyboard and 4 track cassette recorder new age electronic music he made after going to prison is kind of great.

Varg is essentially Norwegian Ted Nugent. He's an awful person who does one thing really well.

ACtually brushing up on the details I'm leaning more toward "planned it" but who knows. They are/were all shitty people but it's a compelling story.

Who was the guy who had plastic surgery to make himself look like a goblin?

OZ - No doubt, it's hard to imagine a scenario in which Euronymous comes out looking even remotely sympthetic, but to me, that's all the more reason to be curious about his side of the story. And by "one thing", do you mean raising kids or writing roleplaying books? Because Varg, Thor love him, is a pretty crap musician by any standards except those of 90s Norwegian black metal.

Lurchi - that could be a number of people, but you are probably thinking of Mortiis! He used to play in Emperor (which was legit black metal) but he never killed anyone and his solo work is basically Trent Reznor's version of Enya (sadly, the True Kvlt psychos look down on him for it). He looks weird, but he's harmless.

EH - Mortiis is wearing a mask and makeup, though, right? Is there someone who actually got surgery?

Mortiis is one of those guys I can't help but think of when anyone seems to take black metal seriously...


Look out! Here he comes!

I don't understand... why would Mortiis need to get surgery? He is a goblin-troll, that is his real face.

I'm sure somebody's had permanent surgery; there are a lot of people into body-modification, and a lot of people with very poor judgement, and the intersect between these two groups tends to be quite large. But so far as I can recall, none of the really popular goblin-musicians (including Mortiis, Finntroll, and Nekrogoblikon) have had surgical goblin-enhancements.

Oh man, the comments are great stuff.

"Dead was very spiritual, Freezing Moon is a deep spiritual song that Dead wrote about his walks in night at cemeteries, maybe he walked a lot on cemeteries at predawns nights. when you walk in desolated places without lights at pre-dawn you see a lot of things that could not be explained by shitty ''science'' of atheits. i had last year, some deep experience walking on a desolated park without light at 4:00 am and i saw a angel, but of course the angel was not in my side, because i'm a dark being." - YT user "Netuno"

And Varg argues with people over what is and is not true black metal...

"Deathcrush is fun-core, and shit. If you are talking about Burzum's Aske, it came in 1993 (recorded August 1992)."
Miss Henson's 6th grade class
Oh, my. He became aware of extreme possibilities.

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